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believe you me, I have worse

dat8962 wrote:believe you me, I have worse

I believe you
Anyway, I think most of mine come under the category of "not quite clean", so here's another to whet your appetite:

One night a man rolls over in bed and gives his wife a big grin.
She says, ''Not tonight honey, I have a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay clean and fresh.''
The man feeling rejected rolls over and tries to go to sleep.
A few minutes later he rolls back over and asks his wife, ‘‘do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?''

OK, you asked for it!

There was once a Native American Indian Tribe where three braves married their chosen squaws and very soon all three squaws were expecting the patter of tiny feet (no TV in those days, obviously). Part of the tribal tradition was for the squaw to have a special bed for the birth and each brave went out to hunt down appropriate bedding. The first brave managed to hunt down a deer and, having killed it, brought the skin home and made a beautiful bed for his better half. The second brave hunted further afield and found buffalo – again he brought the beast's skin back and made the birthing bed. The third brave went even further and found a hippopotamus. He killed it and brought the skin back for his wife’s bed. In due course the first squaw gave birth to a boy. The second squaw gave birth to a girl shortly afterwards. The third one gave birth to twins – a boy and a girl. All of which goes to show that (wait for it) the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.
(OK, I’ll get my coat…..)

its been several post so the answer to the dirty joke i made is.. lip reading.

ok politicly incorect:-
what do you call a muslim with a slice of ham on his head hamed.
2 slices mohamed.
2 slices standing between two buildings.... mohamed ali.

Moonbeam,

my next door neighbour is a gynaecologist. He recently decorated his house and wallpapered his hall through the letterbox.

Mandrake wrote:(OK, I’ll get my coat…..)

"Waves bye bye"

What's most annoying about this last joke is that I knew I'd heard it before but I couldn't remember the punchline, so I just had to read on and suffer the agony all over again

dat8962 wrote:Moonbeam,

my next door neighbour is a gynaecologist. He recently decorated his house and wallpapered his hall through the letterbox.

ROFL - I think we've sunk to an all-time low lol

Right, where's my list of jokes

i think dat8962 has won, unless you can do worse

stephenmagic wrote:i think dat8962 has won, unless you can do worse

Try this 1 (sorry mods if it's a lil' OTT - I tried to keep it as clean as poss )

2 sperms swimming side by side and 1 says to the other, "I'm knackered, how far we gotta go before we reach the ovaries?" The other replies, "Friggin' miles m8 - we've only just passed the tonsils."

Soz

A waiter asks a man, “May I take your order, sir?”

“Yes,” the man replies. “I’m just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?”

“Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”

A horse walks into a bar and says to the barman "have you seen my brother". The barman says "no sir, what does he look like?"

sorry if this is too bad but the ones who are too young wont get it

how do you find a blind man in a nudist camp?










its not hard!

lol - classic! pure classic!

Women in the shower hears a knock at the door. She steps out and shout's "who is it"?

The reply is "it's the blind man".

"Oh. he won't see anything" she thinks to herseff so doesn't bother with a towel and proceeds to open the door.

Bloke at the door looks up and down and asks, "where do you want the blind put"?