The Offside Rule - Explained For Girls

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The Offside Rule - Explained For Girls

Postby moonbeam » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:10 pm



I've been bashing my head for quite a while now whilst trying to explain the "Offside Rule" to my missus. She got an email from someone at her work today and she emailed me saying "Oooh I get it now".


Vital info for upcoming World Cup. The offside rule explained for girls:

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The 'opposing' female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper,
catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.


It made me chuckle so enjoy lol :roll:

QUESTION:
If we can sue McDonalds for making us fat and cigarette companies for for giving us cancer; why can't we sue Smirnoff for all the ugly gits we've sh*gged ??
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Postby Taiven_Grant » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:15 pm

So you can't be in front of the player near the goal, unless you have the ball already?

:shock: Can I finally be understanding this rule? I had just accepted that it existed, and given up trying to understand it. Rather like maths.

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Postby moonbeam » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:29 pm

It's all to do with where you are as soon as the ball is released. As soon as the ball is released from the passing player, there's gotta be at least 2 opposing players in front of the player receiving the ball. It doesn't matter where you are when you receive the ball. In other words you can run past 1 or more of the opponents and receive the ball, with maybe only the goalie to beat. The main point is that you need to have 2 or more opponents in front of you at the time that the ball leaves the foot or head (or whatever part of the body) of the person that's passing the ball.

Jeez this thread is getting complicated already, I was hoping that this was gonna be easy, but now I'm thinking otherwise :oops:

Btw - my missus is sat here laughing shouting, "I get it, I get it !!"

QUESTION:
If we can sue McDonalds for making us fat and cigarette companies for for giving us cancer; why can't we sue Smirnoff for all the ugly gits we've sh*gged ??
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Postby trickyricky » Mon Jun 26, 2006 9:08 pm

Hehe classic! Its like doing a trick to somebody with beer, it gets more personal and easier to understand when you relate it to something they know and love!

I was born with Multiple Personality Disorder. Luckily, they are all me, they just dont always get along...
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Postby EckoZero » Mon Jun 26, 2006 11:35 pm

When the ball is played forward, there must be at least 2 opposing players between the receiver and the goal...

That's all there is to it really :D

That's when the ball is PLAYED FORWARD. The location of any player does not matter when the ball is received, just when it's played forward...

You wont find much better anywhere and it's nothing - a rigmarole with a few bits of paper and lots of spiel. That is Mentalism

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Postby Taiven_Grant » Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:51 pm

-head explodes-

Okay I think I get it. But why do there need to be two opposing players in the way? Surely it's the other teams problem if they don't have players up there when you get near the goal...

Sorry moonbeam, it probably would have been easy if I hadn't replied! I'm just a bit dense when it comes to sport :lol: At least I can use the excuse of being a female...

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Postby EckoZero » Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:53 pm

The rule is in place to stop players lurking by the goal waiting for the ball to come to them to have a free shot on goal.

Technically, it's the other teams problem yes, but it stops the bad sports from goal hanging :wink:

You wont find much better anywhere and it's nothing - a rigmarole with a few bits of paper and lots of spiel. That is Mentalism

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Postby Beardy » Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:53 pm

goalhangers...lol

Love

Chris
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Postby EckoZero » Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:56 pm

I'm an officially qualified FA Ref y'know :D [/brag]
So I'm entitled to know these things :wink:

You wont find much better anywhere and it's nothing - a rigmarole with a few bits of paper and lots of spiel. That is Mentalism

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Postby Tomo » Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:03 pm

Taiven_Grant wrote:-head explodes-

Explodeth not!

Basically, if there's no one from the other team between you and their goalie when someone passes you the ball, you're offside and if you score a goal it's invalid.

I think it's to stop people "goal hanging", which is just hanging about the other team's goal mouth waiting for someone to boot the ball over everyone's head sothat you can just pop it in.

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Postby Taiven_Grant » Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:04 pm

It all becomes clearer! 8)

So for example....You could have Rooney standing next to the goal post just waiting for Vomitting Beckham to boot it in his direction, and to prevent that they like to stick a couple of opposition players between Mr Shrek and the goal post?

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Postby EckoZero » Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:07 pm

Indeed!

It's generally given as the goalie and one other player, however... if the goalie is further away from the goal than 2 other defenders (why would he be? But oh well!) that would still count...

Any two players, one of whom CAN be the goalkeeper

You wont find much better anywhere and it's nothing - a rigmarole with a few bits of paper and lots of spiel. That is Mentalism

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Postby Yorkshire Pudding » Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:11 pm

So presumably the female shoe shopper is actually offside as there was only one other shoe shopper in front of her when the handbag was launched?

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Postby EckoZero » Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:15 pm

No because the shop assistant doesn't want her to have the shoes until the purse gets to her, hence he counts as an opposing player :wink:

You wont find much better anywhere and it's nothing - a rigmarole with a few bits of paper and lots of spiel. That is Mentalism

Tony Corinda
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Postby Yorkshire Pudding » Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:33 pm

AAAAHHHHHH... I see! er.... I think.... :?

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