talkmagic.co.uk

I'm sure there's a really risque routine in there somewhere - which shows what a warped mind I have. I can just see the Channel 5 TV series, 'Mucky Magic with the Master of Smut!'

I'm sure Mandrake's first attempt at a movie would be more along the lines of...

Carry on Conjuring!
Starring
SID JAMES
as
Mandrake the Magician

BARBARA WINDSOR
as
Delia Smith, his lovely assistant

BERNARD BRESSLAW
as
Tommy Cooper

JIM DALE
as
The Mad Mog

TERRY SCOTT
as
Seige - the Mumbling Magi

JUNE WHITFIELD
as
Kylie - Seige's tolerant assistant

CHARLIE HAWTREE
as
The Indian Rope Trick

FRANKIE HOWERD
as
Bananafish - the Crazed Conjurer

KENNETH CONNOR
as
Yankee Tom

KENNETH WILLIAMS
as
Magicdiscoman

JOAN SIMS
as
Nigella Lawson

ARNOLD THE AARDVARK
as
Himself

That's classic Seige. I especially like Charlie Hawtree as the Indian Rope Trick,

But you forgot

Eric Sykes as Laurence, the shopkeeper

OK, guys, forget the training vids for sleights - we have far more important stuff to film!! Nice one!

Mmm, Eric Sykes

So you've seen pictures of me then

Crikey - this 'sneak a peek' deck is a bit of a sod to get right, n'est pas?

I've sat for about 1/2 hour now trying to get it down well enough to perform confidently, but I can't help 'flashing'. I suppose it will come in time. My main problem is, I think, that I'm quite vigourous with my flourishes and spreads usually - which there's NO margin for in this effect.

But...

Thanks Laurence, and cheers for the replacement Crazy Card docs... about to write a review, actually!

And yes - I realise that I said 'I can't help flashing' and I'm probably going to get some silly and childish comment from somebody about 'wooo - you don't want to do that in public, especially in this weather!' or somesuch.

Gees... you guys are just so immature...

just so you dont feel dissapointed.....

OOOOHHHHHH isnt it a bit cold for flashing!!!!!.... or you could paint yourself in a lime colour and stand at a pelican crossing to stop people from getting run over.... you know... never cross when the green man is flashing etc etc....

I cant quite get the spreading right to avoid the flashing yet, although I am practising!!!

What I'm doing at the moment is to perform it all in the hand, that way I've got more control whilst I practice the proper spreading away from prying eyes.....

This is now my NUMBER ONE effect. I love it!!!

The blurb suggests all this is best done in the hand (ooo-er) but I reckon the Penguin vid shows it exactly right. A table spread with just a few little extra points and pokes at the cards to open them a little more. Above all, speed would appear to be crucial - don't let the specs have much time to think about what you've done and ditch the deck asap!

I've had quite a few e-mails since making those totally tasteless remarks about Sneak-a-Peek/Politicians/Queens etc. and I'm pleased to say they were all asking for more details rather than to criticise! In response to two requests (sad, sad, sad!!) this is how I'd envisage the full routine. (If anyone feels offended by any of the remarks, then I apologise up front. Unless you're a politician in which case I reckon you deserve all you get and ya boo sucks to you) So here we go:

So Michael Howard has just been elected leader of the Conservatives and he has a really tough job ahead of him to restore faith and confidence in the party. In fact, it's impossible so he has to resort to trickery (produce Sneak-a-Peek deck) the like of which we have not seen since the days of Maggie Thatcher and Water Privatisation.

Michael realises that the loyal supporters now only total 52 but they are all true blue (Ribbon Spread deck across table) supporters of solid Tory Policies. Whatever those might be this week.

Despite that, the members are all individuals with their own skills and strengths (turn deck over and spread to show all different card faces, pause a short while then gather up deck ready to riffle down).

The first job is to select a proper deputy and this has to be done fairly and squarely by an outsider (ask spec to help by saying ‘stop’ when riffling down) but, for the time being it’s a secret known only to a select few (show the selected card to specs).

Unfortunately, (turn deck over to show Joker) there’s some Joker in the Party who is likely to be phoning the newspapers with the details – no, not Jeffrey Archer here (indicating the top Joker), but this one (bringing bottom Joker to top) so it’s time for the deputy to come to the front and be revealed to all and sundry (do the bit with the Jokers and show the Queen) Wow – good idea, it’s about time a woman was involved in Tory Politics (at this point you can pause for any wry humour or torrents of abuse as appropriate).

Sadly, this idea is going a bit far as it could have been any of the queens in this party (show all Queens). Michael is now desperate for a solution and uses his magic once more – he turns them all from True Blues into Reds under the Bed (turn deck over to show all red backs) and lets Tony Blair deal with ‘em! Of course, being a closet Tory, Tony doesn’t want them either, and neither do I as they’re so unreliable! (Ditch deck sharpish before anyone gets an unscheduled Sneak-a-Peek!)

(PS - The deck as supplied is new and slippery so the ribbon spreads need to be carefully controlled or they'll go skating off the table. Like real life Politicians, if the cards can be dirtied a bit with some ’palm grease’ and gratuitous handling it makes them so much easier to control (!). And just to make it crystal clear – I’m neither a Tory nor a Socialist. In fact I have absolutely no interest in politics whatsoever. Which means I’m a Liberal Democrat.)

seige wrote:

I realise that I said 'I can't help flashing' and I'm probably going to get some silly and childish comment from somebody about 'wooo - you don't want to do that in public, especially in this weather!' or somesuch.

Gees... you guys are just so immature...

Not only immature but slow on the uptake as well - 'wooo - you don't want to do that in public, especially in this weather!

{Seige laughs out loud, even though Mandrake's post was both predictable and unremarkable}

'Predictable and unremarkable' - the very same words as used on my last school report (Heh, heh , and not even original - sorry, Mog!)