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Hi everyone.

I thought I would let you know that I am in hospital at the moment awaiting triple bypass surgery. It was supposed to be tomorrow but it has been postponed, hopefully for not more than a day but that has yet to be confirmed.

I have been suffering from chest pains for some time now and an angiogram earlier this year showed that I have fairly severe coronary artery disease and that means bypass.

The prognosis is very good and I am told I will be a new man after the dust settles. In the mean time I sit in the John Radcliff hospital in Oxford with a small stack of DVDs and books to catch up on, my little laptop and my lovely wife poised to mop my fevered brow whenever I need it.

I will try and stay in touch with everyone and will hopefully get back to private commissions in the coming weeks.

So Mr. Paul Brookes, I see your accident and raise you an open heart surgery!

All the best for your surgery Tom - enjoy the down time!

And they say manflu can't be serious! Take it easy mate.

WOW.. big shout there bud

I have met a few people who have had the same, all have done great.

But you knew that anyways

Go well

Mike

Best wishes and hope you dont get too ill from hospital food.... remember all visitors should bring edible food.....

Enjoy the rest .....

(sorry for bugging ya via pm... you should have said lol....)


F x

big hairy man-love to ya tom...

keep your chin and pecker up (if they have some kind of contraption in hospital for that, all the better)...

Thanks everyone...much appreciated support.

I have (as of this strange and surreal moment) come to realise that you are not meant to sleep in hospital. In fact the best sport seems to be to find strange, often selfish and frankly disturbing ways of keeping ones fellow patients awake.

Also, one is best off realising that hospital wards are the very proving grounds for the universe of buzzers, bells and bleeps and the volumes at which these can be sounded without causing instant and painful death. They are all doing very well at all of these things.

Ah but as a Magician there are new games to play...

Which sized PK magnet works best for muffing up all their electronic equipment causing massive panic as thirty people try and work out what happened....

"Bobo's pill switch"... double the dose of morphine (which you can then sell on the black market to feed your cups)

Hpynotic Inductions on the nurses or just about anyone annoying you...

Tarot Roulette - PLay with other annoying patients... who ever gets the death card .... lol...

Make your own "real ghost" with all that oxygen piping around....

I bet theres loads you could "ahem" borrow for creativity purposes.....

Have Fun......

F x

(Please note Fairie does not advocate any of these activities and as such accepts no liability of any harm, legal arrest or loss of inhibitions caused....)

Keep your chin up....

I think I need a stint in hospital to catch up on those books and DVDs that I've been meaning to read and watch. All the best, Tom. Keep us posted on your progress.

Get well soon, Tom. I know someone who's had bypass surgery and he's like a new man.

Great idea - take all the prescriptions for each patient, shuffle them and deal them out face down. Each patient picks the one they feel 'psychically drawn' to, gets the medication and takes it. The ones who guess correctly which is their medication are the winners. And survivors.....

I like it....pharmacutical roulette, nice!

Well, it was bound to happen. They have postponed my operation until Monday. The Registrar did that without even having to make the slightest bit of eye contact with me... how touching huh? LOL! I'm sure you're shocked.

Do you know what the difference is between a consultant and God is? God doesn't think he's a consultant....

Hope it all goes well man, from experience I've always found the JR to be a pretty decent hospital, I'm sure you're in good hands.

Sadly the patients' interests and considerations are way down the list of priorities in the NHS these days. To pass the time, organise a darts competition using hypodermics as the 'arrows' or perhaps 'Pin the tail on Matron' - if they still have Matrons....

Believe me Tom, you'll be praying for a po-faced, superiority complex toting consultant or surgeon when you've had experience of several junior doctors... great at communicating and empathising, but no idea what they're doing...

Have you had any medical students come and try to stick needles into you with their shaky hands yet?