talkmagic.co.uk

by **I.D** » Mar 19th, '13, 16:44

I was thinking of funny lines that i try and use when asked the most commonly asked questions when performing magic.. I was lazy and didnt search for a thread but hopefully there isnt one already lying around somewhere..

Just post spectators question and your typical answer

I'll start:

Q: Where did you learn to do that?
A: Prison

Q: Do you have to train your hands to be able to do the things you do?
A: Yes.
Q: How do you train them?
A: Magicians masturbate more than anyone else on the planet

I'll add more if it catches on

by **Johnny Wizz** » Mar 20th, '13, 16:36

Q Can you do that again?

A No, I have the mentality of a goldfish and have forgotten it already

In The restaurant

Q Can you make the bill disappear/ Can you fill my beer glass / can you turn this fiver in to a tenner

A Would I be slogging my guts out round here if I could?

Q Can you make the kids disappear

A I'm a magician, not Jimmy Saville

by **shuffleshuffle** » Mar 20th, '13, 17:28

definitely write your own stuff as much as possible. magic clones are a bad thing, and unfunny magicians telling someone elses jokes is the worst thing ever.
However.. heres a line i use to a common question...

"Do you know Dynamo?"
"Yea, but I know him by his normal name, Terry Dickwad. Dunno why he calls himself Dynamo".

by **I.D** » Mar 20th, '13, 18:10

Johnny Wizz wrote:
Q Can you make the kids disappear

A I'm a magician, not Jimmy Saville

I love it!!

shuffleshuffle wrote:
"Do you know Dynamo?"
"Yea, but I know him by his normal name, Terry Dickwad. Dunno why he calls himself Dynamo".

this too

Another one I use...

Q. Can you do the one where *** puts his hand through the shop glass / walks on water.. etc?
A. Yeh easily, course I can. Give me a camera crew and a budget and I'll do anything you want!!

by **magicdiscoman** » Mar 20th, '13, 19:58

how do you do that....... simple I cheat.

can you make my wife disappear....... yes but that costa extra or sorry your wife has already booked my services.

can you do that dynamo trick..... yes but it only looks good on telly or absolutely he sells them online for £300.

are you really magic.... do I look like papa smurf.

Q: Where did you learn to do that?

online £4.50.

Q: Do you have to train your hands to be able to do the things you do?
A: Yes.
Q: How do you train them

? well for a year I practised one move...... then I had a mast manipulators hands grafted on you can barely see the join can you.

Q Can you make the kids disappear

why these micro customers pay my wages.

by **Johnny Wizz** » Mar 21st, '13, 10:53

Them: Dynamo can walk on water
Me: No he can't
Them: Yes he can it was on TV
Me: No he can't

Them: Can you do that thing with predicting the Lottery numbers like Derren Brown
Me: Of course I can I am just pretending to be grovellingly poor, oh and why do you think that Derren doesn't win the lottery every week?

by **JustCraig** » Mar 21st, '13, 19:31

Can you make my wife disappear?

Listen, I grew up in (Insert rough City/Town/Area) - For the rifght price I can make ANYONE disappear

by **Magus** » Mar 23rd, '13, 17:41

Q. Can I shuffle/look at the cards?

A. You can, but then the trick won't work...

by **The4thCircle** » Apr 4th, '13, 16:21

JustCraig wrote:Can you make my wife disappear?

Listen, I grew up in (Insert rough City/Town/Area) - For the rifght price I can make ANYONE disappear

Oh I love that one....

-Stacy

by **fiftytwo** » Apr 7th, '13, 07:59

Last night I was asked "How much of that was just showmanship?" and I said "Actually, it's all scripted - right down to the last hesitation and stutter."

"Really?" "Yes, even this bit with you."