talkmagic.co.uk

Here is a newspaper article that isn't a newspaper article. Mind you it could be. It was written by a university student about my favourite magician.
Me.
She wanted to write something about magic for her assignment in a journalism class. She called up loads of Toronto magicians asking to see them work. However they were all working in private venues that she couldn't attend.
Then she called up me. I had the most public of all venues she could attend so she did.
Here is the result. I thought it would interest some of you. It certainly interests me anyway:

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The magician wriggles Jeremy the Magic Snake through his fingers, attracting a curious young boy who inches closer and closer.
“Would you like to look at Jeremy?” he asks. (gag edited so that Blapsing Beard can't steal it)
The boy’s mother approaches from behind and watches as the magic man slithers the furry, blue snake swiftly between his fingers, around a basket and through a book. Suddenly, the snake stops moving and falls asleep inside a glass jar. “Oh no! Can you do me a favour young man?” After the magic salesman counted to three, the boy loudly shouts, “Wake up, Jeremy.”
Magically, the blue snake swiftly slides up out of the jar and slithers back through the trickster's fingers. People, engrossed by the trick, stop to watch at a distance. “Come in closer everybody. (gag edited so that Blapsing Beard doesn't steal it)
Sporting a black tie adorned with stars, playing cards and white rabbits, the 62-year-old magician regularly performs magic tricks at a venue which will go nameless. He commutes on weekends to promote and sell his magic products. His booth attracts some of the largest crowds at the flea market.
“Sometimes it’s tough to get people’s attention, but normally I can get a big crowd going.”

As people begin to gather around the booth, the boy whispers to his mother, begging her to buy the snake. “You nag your mother until she buys it,” says the magician. (Gag edited so that Blapsing Beard doesn't steal it) The mother ignores her son and walks him away from the booth.

At the booth, he revealed to his audience one of his most captivating tricks, the three-card trick. He lays out a three of diamonds, a four of clubs and a queen of spades, all face up. Carefully, he flips each card over one by one, keeping them in order.
He singles out a young blonde woman. “Can you tell me which card is the queen of spades, please?”
She chooses the card in the middle with confidence. Before revealing it, He flips over the other cards, the three of diamonds and five of spades. He flips over the middle card. It’s not the queen of spades-it is the four of clubs!. The young woman is speechless. He picks up all three cards, fans them out and shows the audience. Now, the four of clubs had turned back into the queen of spades. The young woman’s mouth is wide open.
“How did that happen?” says the young woman. “That is insane.”
A young boy leans towards his sister and whispers, “How did he do that?”
Facing an open-jawed and wide-eyed audience, the magician continues with the performance. (Gag edited so that Blapsing Beard doesn't steal it)The silence is replaced with laughter.
He continues with a new trick and whips out a deck of cards, showing the audience that each card is different. He fans the entire deck across the table, face down. He asks a man wearing a leather jacket to pick a card. The man pauses, contemplating which one to choose.
(Gag edited so that Blapsing Beard doesn't steal it)
The man finally chooses a card, keeping it hidden from the trickster. He reveals the card to the rest of the audience. The magician interrupts. “Just make sure you remember that nine of hearts, sir.” The man smiles and returns the card. Indeed, it was a nine of hearts.
“Yes, we British are very clever,” says the UK magician. “That’s how we won the Empire. I don’t quite know why we lost it. (Blapsing Beard can have that gag. It only works outside Britain)

“Now, I know what you’re thinking,” he continues. “You’re thinking that all the cards were nine of hearts. Well, you’re wrong.” He flips through the entire deck of cards, revealing each card to be different. “I told you. They’re all different. If they were all nine of hearts, it would look like this.” He quickly fans the same deck of cards across the table, revealing them now to be all nine of hearts. A bewildered woman grabs her partner’s arm and hides her face in his sleeve. “Don’t worry, though,” says the magician. “They’re not all nine of hearts because like I told you, they’re all different.” He collects the deck and flips through it once more, revealing all the cards to be different again.
Some audience members look at each other in astonishment. Some simply gaze at the cards. A teenager stares intently at the deck, rubbing his chin, trying to figure out how the trick was done. The bewildered woman and her partner are impressed. “How much is it for those cards?” asks the woman’s partner.
The snake is $5. The magic cards with instructions are $10. A cup-and-ball trick is $5 and the three-card trick is $3.
“You can have the entire package, which comes with a book of 102 tricks, for just $20, (gag edited so that Blapsing Beard can't steal it)” The audience laughs. “This entire package comes with a money back guarantee,” says the salesman/magician (gag edited so that Blapsing Beard can't steal it)

Meanwhile, the young boy who wanted to buy Jeremy the Magic Snake pushes through the crowd and returns with his weary-looking mother. “He won’t stop begging me,” she says. “He has been begging me to buy the snake this entire time. I give up.” She lets out an exhausted giggle as she reaches into her purse to purchase the toy snake.
With the toy snake in his hands, the boy walks away with a smile on his face.
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Ha, that's a great article. It sounds like a lot of fun the first time seeing your routine. I noticed she never mentioned your name. Why is that?

very good read that was.

I like some of your lines as well. I might have to nick some

thanks for that sir!

Actually she did mention my name. However I posted this on the magic cafe and for obvious reasons deleted it because they have a tendency to break out in a terrible sweat at the very mention of my terrible name.

As for "nicking" lines if you are going to do so then it would be far wiser for you not to say so. You will see why shortly.

Great to see you get some ink! Where can I read more?

I have many, many articles about my work as a psychic. Full page articles galore and even two page spreads in the national newspapers of Ireland.

However there has been nothing whatever written about me as a svengali pitchman. This little unpublished article by a college student as a class assignment has given me more pleasure that any full blown newspaper article about me no matter how massive.