talkmagic.co.uk

by **Discombobulator** » Jul 6th, '12, 17:10

Have you ever had a complete communications breakdown with someone ?
Lets hear yours.

Mine went something like this...

Her: If something is in the re-cycle bin, can I still get it back?
Me: err, yes, unless it went in there before Tuesday
Her: How do I get it back ?
Me: reach in and grab it
Her: Why Tuesday ?
Me: its always emptied on a Tuesday.
Her: I want to pick another day ?
Me: you can't... unless you can somehow persuade the council
her: What's the council got to do with any settings. surely its a Microsoft thing ?
Me: What ? Microsoft ???
Together: oh you mean the laptop recycle bin ?
oh you mean the council recycle bin ?

by **Lawrence** » Jul 6th, '12, 23:16

I spoke to Beardy the other day for a good few minutes before we realised we were on totally different pages
ftopic43439.php

by **Mandrake** » Jul 7th, '12, 14:03

The big confusion at Mandrake Mansions is 'this Monday' and 'next Monday'. To me 'this Monday' means the one due whereas 'Next Monday' is the one after that. Does Mrs.M agree? Does she 'eck as like, if I had a quid for each time I've assumed we were talking about the same day but in fact she's talking about a week earlier than me, I could buy a dozen copies of Mark Wilson's Encyclopedia.....

by **Lady of Mystery** » Jul 8th, '12, 08:21

Oh we have the same 'this Monday, next Monday' problem all the time. I'm with you Mandrake that next Monday is the one after this Monday. Dave disagrees with me.

I also very nearly failed Uni for the very same reason. As part of my last year project, I had to exhibit some work. I arranged with the lecturer that my exhibition would be next Wednesday. Two days later I got a email from him asking why I hadn't shown up for the exhibition. It took a lot of grovelling to get him to give me a second date.

by **MatCult** » Jul 12th, '12, 15:23

Explaining to a Californian why I found the term "fanny pack" so amusing (I know, I should grow up):

Californian: "Well what do you call your fanny then?"
Me: "That's your bum."
C: "But that's what we'd call a homeless guy, what do you call a homeless guy?"
M: "A tramp"
C: "But that's what we'd call a prostitute. What do you ..."
M: "Jesus, why do we even pretend that we're speaking the same language?"

And that's even before we get started on 'nought' vs 'zero' and 'zed' vs 'zee'.

by **Lawrence** » Jul 12th, '12, 16:40

One of my favourite reactions from an American was upon hearing the phrase "I'm just off to have a fag"

by **DJBenz** » Jul 13th, '12, 08:46

Lady of Mystery wrote:Oh we have the same 'this Monday, next Monday' problem all the time. I'm with you Mandrake that next Monday is the one after this Monday.

+1 in agreement, although lots of people consider 'next Monday' to be the next Monday they'll encounter (ie this Monday).

by **TonyB** » Jul 13th, '12, 23:16

My ex never forgave me for this one. A promoter rang me on the morning of a gig to say it was cancelled. But the line was bad, and I thought he said it was in the castle. So she drove seventy miles to find an empty castle. Myself and the promoter laughed about it, but she never did.