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Interpol have asked the public to be on the lookout for Joseph Gomez, a Spaniard last heard of living in Tooting whose Mother was a nun in Barcelona. A one-time flautist with the Symphony orchestra, he is wanted for looting in Haifa where he worked on a farm. The public are therefore advised to be on the lookout for a Haifa looting fluting Tooting son of a nun from Barcelona, part time ploughboy Joe.

Johnny Wizz wrote:I am selling my vacuum cleaner. It's only gathering dust!

MrCat wrote:We could do a swap, I’m thinking about selling my theremin… I haven’t touched it in years.

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. … But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.” A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath…. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.