talkmagic.co.uk

Mud sang 'tiger feet'

johnrobertsuk wrote:Mud sang 'tiger feet'

That's right, that's, right, that's right, that's right.....

Nice one mate

CArlight1958 wrote:

johnrobertsuk wrote:Mud sang 'tiger feet'

That's right, that's, right, that's right, that's right.....

Made me chuckle and will no doubt be used

That's the best joke ever in the history of everything

Teachers asks little girl, "What does your Dad do for a living"
"He's a magician" says the girl
oh, and what's his best trick?
"Sawing people in half" says the girl
And do you have any other family?
Yes says the girl "I have a half brother and 2 half sisters"

Thats the best joke on the page, but to be fair there is little competition as Idont get the first one.

To understand it you need to know the song lyrics...

Well that's right
that's right
that's right
that's right

I really love your tiger light

and that's neat
that's neat
that's neat
that's neat

I really love your tiger feet

I really love your tiger feet

Oh great, now that song will be stuck in my head all day !!

David Blaine Cards, can't get them out of the box

Not really a joke but a true story.
At Harry Houdini's funeral in 1926, two of his best friends were among the pall bearers: theatrical impressarios Charles Dillingham and Florenz Ziegfelt. All of them nearly dropped the coffin when Dillinghham whispered "Ziggy, I'll bet you a hundred bucks he ain't in there!"

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant, so he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto 'We love to fly and it shows'.

The woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:'Winning the hearts of the world'.

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto:'Going beyond expectations'.

The woman looks at him sternly and says:

'What the fk do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face, "Ryanair".

Hydrogen. Helium. Lithium. Beryllium. Boron. Carbon. Nitrogen. xygEn. Fluorine . Neon. Sodium. Magnesium. Aluminum. Silicon. Phosphorus. ...



The element of surprise.

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 50 years.

The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words
that were used to put the curse on you.'

The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

==============================================================

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'

'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'

==============================================================

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and
asks him how he is feeling.

'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in
surgery,' he answered.

'What did he say,' asked the nurse.

'Oops!'

Adam was walking in the garden looking very glum. God asked what was bothering him.
"Nothing really ," he replied "I''m just a little lonely."
"I can take care of that,"said God "I'll make you a mate. She will love you, treasure you, work for you and live to serve only you. In fact she will regard you as you do me.
"Sounds expensive," said Adam, "What will it cost me?"
"An arm and a leg , I'm afraid." Said God.
"OK," said Adam,"What can you do for a rib?".