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ok. This is going to be a stupid question I know, and I am already embarassed to have to ask , however

On the Royal Magic, "amazing things to do with everyday items" dvd there is a trick that requires "Dental Wax". And I haven't a clue what it is.

Effectively it is used for joing the ends of a piece of string to look like it is one piece.

At first I thought it may just be dental floss, but the dental floss I have isn't sticky enough and just doesn't work. So is this some thing used in the States?

I'm being stupid aren't I?

Dental Wax (I think...) is used to take mouldings of teeth. It's like the soft 'Card in Ceiling' type of wax. I think it's used by people who make dentures???

You could ask your local dentist for some... I guess?

Although, you can make wax... I think there's a method of mixing wax and parrafin(?) to get the right consistency.

If anyone can clarify this, it would help us both!

Whatever it is you can be sure it won't be available on the NHS but will require 6 monthly check-ups.

Thanks Seige, I'll try a dentist - I assumed it would be commonly available, maybe it is in America (did I say I was going there next week? )

That probably explains why the woman in Boots gave me such a funny look. She tried to sell me Denture fixative instead. I told her "this is no good. its pink and creamy - and looks nothing like string!".

s'funny. Ive never been thrown out of Boots before...

Mandrake. eviDENTly it will be available on the NHS and thats the whole TOOTH of the matter...(ok that was poor)

Very, very poor. But still very, very acceptable.

Hope you enjoy yourself Stateside and for crying out loud, if you make a mistake when writing something down, don’t ask if you can borrow a rubber off anyone, I'm off to Switzerland for a couple of weeks tomorrow afternoon so you can all post freely without fearing the Mandrake/cr*p responses. Will be engaging in some serious magical investigations involving cheese with holes, clocks with cuckoos and people who yodel. I will also be doing some extensive culinary research and asking, ‘How do you make a Swiss roll?’

Altogether now…. PUSH HIM OFF A MOUNTAIN!

(Mandrake chuckles again and carefully packs more lemons for the journey.....)

(Mandrake chuckles again and carefully packs more lemons for the journey.....)

I had an argument with a lemon once. I did apologise, but it was still very bitter...

Seige tries to join the conversation, but he feels his contribution may incurr serious 'flaming'...

I've heard Lemons hate Delia Smith... she's always taking the 'piff' out of them!!!

(That one went sour... groan)

OK guys, you can make all the jokes you like about my lovely lemons - I don't care because they have their own Legal Insurance scheme. It's called LemonAid.


(You really didn't think I'd stoop so low, did you?)

The Newly-Wed (Blonde) Wife decided to make Hubby a glass of fresh lemonade as a token of her deep affection and disappeared into the kitchen. Some 5 minutes later she reappeared rather shamefaced and asked Hubby if lemons had feathers. Her very wise Hubby reassured her that they certainly did not and she said, ‘In that case I’ve just liquidised the bl**dy canary’.

(Now you know how low I can go!)

Did you know you can make your own condoms out of those plastic lemon juice thingies? You have to be careful about premature ejaculation though or else you will come in a Jiff...

Have I just out lowered Mandrake?

Very nearly - but we both now have time abroad to see how low we can go!

Anyway, nice one, that - I'll certainly steal it and use it at every conceivable opportunity - cheers!

Seige stoops even lower...

Dr Watson comes home to find Homles performing acts of vile coitus on a small lemon...

"What are you doing with your &@££$@ in that fruit, Holmes!?!?" Watson cries...

"Ahh," says Holmes, "A-lemon-entry, my dear Watson..."


Seige awaits 'virtual humiliation' from his comrades..., but tries to soften the blow by wishing two of them a jolly nice holiday - the lucky beggars!

(Mandrake’s evil laughter rings out in the hollow darkness for he has, indeed, been working long into the night to ensure all those essential business transactions are completed before departing for foreign shores. In other words, he’s just done his expenses for the month. This also means he can aim one further thunderbolt of lowness into the night…..)

Terrible news, the founder of Microsoft was attacked by an angry customer and hurled through a citrus fruit in Florida earlier today. Yes folks, it’s the all time classic …. Bill Through Lemon!!!!!

(Mandrake gestures hypnotically and picks his nose. I think I’ll wear the cute little pointy-up one today, thank you…..)

bicycle rubber cement
is great for joining rope to appear one piece.

my brother was larking about in a petrol station with a friend at the pumps and manages to light up his arm.

he was arrested for being in posession of a fire arm.
not lemony but he was quite bitter about it.

You need more sleep!!!

As far as the rubber cement and ropes go - have you ever used the magnetised gimmicks for the same purpose???

I occasionally do some rope tricks, to break rhythm, and I'd like a way to join the ropes so that stand up to eye inspection (not audience hand-outs).

I've tried the screw-togethers, but they're fiddly, and I've tried wax (which leaves a messy join).

But you (MagicDiscoMan) are the authority on stage magic, it would seem (and heckler-slaying!), so any advice would be good...