talkmagic.co.uk

Child repellent?

Yes, frequently.




I suggest performing Killer Élite (either version). That might get the point across.

Get 20-30 of those fart-in-a-can gags and release them all at once when you're alone with them.

They won't be coming back.

If they do, try the part with the brick, works as well.

themagicwand wrote:Yes, it does happen - particularly at restaurant or wedding reception bookings. Twenty years of studying the esoteric arts, reduced to the level of a balloon bender in one phrase: "Ooh, I'll shout me kids. They like a bit of magic."

Happened once in a local eatery where I was working the tables. Wife and husband called over their two young kids "to see the magic man". So I went into a trance and claimed to be possesed by the spirit of the wife's dead grandmother. In a croaky voice I asked if the kids were behaving themselves because "we have a place this side of the veil where naughty children go to, so be warned".

The wife fainted, the children started to cry, and the husband disappeared - presumably to complain to the manager of the restaurant.

The above didn't actually happen, but it's what goes through my mind everytime some chav family associates magic with kids entertainment. The term "psychic entertainer" for me gets the message across a little better.

I laughed a twisted little laugh to myself while picturing this scenario. Please let me know if you ever have the chance to pull this off, I love it.

I made alot of money doing kid shows and most of the time they went well. Then one day the birthday boy (Billy Pervert) wanted a balloon snake ,so I made him one. While making balloon animals for the other kids Billy tried to make the snake bite the clown in an unappropriate place. I will say that the parents had abandon me and the children for a go at some six packs of beer. Billy moved in on the attack, I turned away, he turned to attack again. I took the balloon away and put it up, another child grabbed it and gave it back to Billy and said bite the clown Billy! I took the snake away and popped it. I felt that if the drunk parents had walked in and saw this kid behaving badly they would blame me. I have not done another kid show in 15 years. The little monsters will try to get away with your props, bad attitudes and mommy I had a awful time. I would rather perform for drunken perverts because I can tell them what I think and where they can take their attitude. I love magic and I don't want to see it wasted on bad kids that I have to babysit.
Regards
Al

My first birthday party gig the kids were shooting each other with water guns and water balloons when I started they were all wet and armed anyway halfway through the show.

I was doing the buddah money mystery when one of the lil b******s throws a water balloon at me luckily i caught it, but i lost my temper and chucked it back at him i though i was in trouble at first but then i kinda played on it and every one for some reason thought it was some comedy skit of the show lucky me