The Concise Magickal Dictionary

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The Concise Magickal Dictionary

Postby Mandrake » Mar 28th, '08, 16:03

The Concise Magickal Dictionary
(with all due acknowledgements to Flashman and all other contributors) - not in alphabetical order as that would be far, far too easy.....

Spouseup n. Descriptive of a trick practised to perfection in the mirror yet royally fluffed up when initially performed for one’s partner. “I can’t believe it, I’ve ‘spousedup’ the ID!”

Abracadaver n. Unfortunate magical entertainer who is dying on his feet in front of an unimpressed audience. Usually accompanied by uncontrollable sweating, dropping of cards, etc…

Switchcraft n. The magical ability of Magick Shoppes’ owners to make incredible amounts of cash disappear into thin air whilst one is shopping. “I only popped in for a sponge ball and left with ‘Bang On’, 4 decks of red bikes and a 3” jumbo half dollar….. Must be switchcraft!!” See also CUPS n.

Wizard’s Ring n. Mysterious circular marks left on pieces of expensive wooden furniture next to, or directly under large mirrors in a magicians home. Possibly caused by forgotten hot caffeine based beverage. Accompanying signs include: red/blue backed joker placed/stuck to ring; half dollars or ancient Chinese currency littered around the surrounding floor area.

TalkMagician n. A magcician who frequents web-based magic forums, possibly to the point of disregarding his own practice in witchcraft. "That TalkMagician just never gets off the computer!"

Rabbid adj. When a rabbit (or any other performing animal) that is put in front of a crowd goes nuts and does not comply with the magician's perfromance. "Those doves I used in my finale went completely rabbid once they were released."

Wom n.Widow of Magic, pl Woms

iMagician n. Young startup know it all magician. Tends to stumble across Talkmagic in an attempt to find "tutorials". Loves the likes of Ellusionist and Brad Christian. Normally prompted to go and read RRTCM, Bobo's, Wilsons (See "Holy Trinity").
See also : Youpube, Magical Eyeliner, DMC (Dark Mysterious Clothing)

MicroWave Magic n. A magical trick or item that can be used within 3 minutes of opening the packet. Generally displayed by the PopTart Magician n. or iMagician n.

kiamagician n. Also known as the 'Know it all magician'. Usually someone who has just purchased a stripper deck and now think they are Criss Angel. Common traits include not taking good advice from experienced magicians and purchasing the latest 'cool' gimmick that does not suit their style.

Hairoma n. The unexpected and surprisingly strong smell of singed eyebrows, sideboards and other facial topiary. Brought on by an overly casual approach to flash paper. Usually accompanied by cries of horror and/or delight: "Oh look Daddy, the funny manny is on fire!"

Hands like cows' udders sim. Descriptive of one who is dextrously inept. "I'm terribly sorry ladies and gentlemen for the poor quality of magic today. I'm afraid I was out on the pop last night and I've got hands like cows' udders this morning. Good day."

seige n. Knows everything there is to know about Magic

Indifferent adj. A term to describe a card that is non interesting, could be anything, something you couldn't care less about, a means to an end, random card, a card that is used in place of the card of interest. AKA loser card.
NB This term is used more frequently by magicians as time progresses and not just in the magicial world. That apple is indifferent. The indifferent newspaper. It also crops up when the crowd do not respond. "The crowd were indifferent". Unfortunately you cannot change the crowd with a top change no matter how hard you try.

Keychain n. A routine done where key cards are used exclusively as a means to perform the effects. Often linked with a PK ring routine. "My keychain was pretty smooth until I lost my key card and then the keychain broke"

Exchange Rate n. Paying large amounts of money for coins of much lower value. "I just bought a cigarette through 10p for £10! How's that for an exchange rate?" See also: CUPS, Switchcraft, Overspend

Overspend n. Paying for good or services with an expensive gimmick. "Oh c*** (not the best)! I just paid a folding 50 for a Mars Bar! Overspend!"

Blained adj. A term used to define a poor presentation, usually accompanyed by lots of "Look... watch... look..." "I like that trick but that guy really Blained it!"

Derren Browned v. A person asleep in a phonebox. "Haha, that guy got Derren Browned!"

Brad Christian v. Selling single tricks or effects for the price of a book featuring not only that trick but many others. "I just found cool vanish in a really old book. I wonder if I can Brad Christian it?"

Banachek v. Baffling scientists with magical principles. "Look, parapsychologists! I wonder if I can Banachek them..."

Card Fairy n. The reason that some of your decks of cards mystically have cards missing. "The card fairy has been at my deck again!"

Tanorexia n. medic. Psychological disorder common in stage magicians who, despite daily visits to the tanning salon, still believe they are a bit on the pasty side. Sufferers can be monitored using the following medically approved scale:

1: Lobster
2: Tango
3: Copperfield
4: Chernobyl
5: Oompaloompa

YouTeacher n. can be divided into two categories:
a) After learning an effect of a DVD and getting lots of praise from parents. The student thinks they have become the master and uploads an explanation onto youtube.
b) An iMagican uploads an explanation which they think is the workings of an effect. Usually it is not and looks ridiculous or nothing like the original effect.
Both cases usually result in a lot of dropping of cards and in some cases parents can be heard asking if they want sugar on their weetabix in the background.

Delusionist n. One who is a legend in his own mind, the reality is exposure through bad performance.

Strebled (as in that guy just strebled me) When another magician is blown away by your metal bending skills!

Ge llar sl Go away as in Ge llar hell outta here

Mcgee'D When you're performing and some older attractive lady comes on to you 'cos shes got the vino specs on.......

Fulemic n.Someone who is fooled so badly he or she wants to throw up.

Fanorexic n.Someone who is such a big fan of magic that he or she can't think of anything else -- like food.

Bunny Boiler n. Very upset lady magical assistant taking revenge on magician's hapless livestock.

Fumblescowl n. Withering stare given off by magician's spouse/partner. Usually caused by the sound of a half dollar hitting a laminate/wooden floor for the umpteenth time during an episode of Home and Away or Corrie Street (sic). Has possibilities for use in a mentalism routine, as the magician will often be able to predict exactly what their spouse/partner is going to say next... See also: riffleglare; wandfever, silkrage

Gaff n. Large sharp hook on pole, commonly used in Angling, used to admonish hecklers and unco-operative spectators. Also Gaffed the state of the spectators after use of the Gaff

Zig-Zag Lady n. Spectator who has difficulty walking in straight lines, possibly due to over indulgence of alcohol. Always avoid where possible, and select a different spectator to help.

Mandrake n. A bald wizard wearing a large hat and spouting oodles of magical knowledge. See also; Mandrakes Greatest Secrets Revealed

Normal (adj.): Suspicious, gaffed, rigged or loaded.

Perfectly Normal (adj): As "normal", but an expensive enough item as to give the magician a smug sense that the item will hold up to a
minor amount of scrutiny.

Bridgedecker: Someone who professes to have hand hands too small to carry out card sleights with a regular poker-sized deck, yet funnily enough doesn't seem to do much palming even when handed a pack of Waddingtons; a wuss.

Thumbluster: A person who swears on their granny's life it is perfectly tenable to fool people with a bright green TT.

Equinecromancer Someone who has no problem bringing up age old and insoluble debates with a fresh dose of annoying vigor. See also "chestnutorian" and "cannelidians"

Visual Learner: Someone too lazy to read a book and will never learn a routine unless it's available in DVD form.

Bibliofacist Someone who's bitter learning experience renders them unable to acknowledge any advantage in seeing a sleight explained in video format.

TheMod n. A mythical creature with the abilities to make posts vanish. They also have the power to become invisible and cause topics to lock by the power of their mind.

Banned user n. A common creature found on TM. Traits include selling DVDs, advertising, swearing and acting like an idiot.

Cardiologist. Specialist in the field of cards, card magic, card illusions, card manipulation and card making/gaffing. Due to such intense and expert training a Cardiologist is unable to peform any other magic, a true "specialist".

Dovelicious: That overwhelming hankering for bbq dove after watching a dove worker as in. "wow, that was a great competition now I'm dovelicious"

Inspectaphobic: A magician who is terrified of having his coins scruitinzied to the nth degree. "All my coins must have the exact same date I'm inspectaphobic".

Lady Of Mystery: Magician/Magicianne obsessed with "Mark Wilson's Course in Magic" (It is a good thing) :D "A beginner asked me where he should start his magical education so I Lady Of Mysteried him" (col. Lomster)

Toilet Duck v. As in "...with this gimmick you can toilet duck away..." Finish clean everytime...

Obolex slang An expression used to describe the thought in one's head after spending a coin unique. Can also be used to describe any magical mishap, like revealing your PK ring by having your car keys stick to it.

Mirgin [pron. merr-jinn] A newcomer to magic who has just performed their first trick.

Krassical adj. A term used to define a young magician who, while good at magic, has delusions of grandeur. This often means the said magician unfairly critiques magicians much more experience than him. There is also a possibilty that said magician well attempt to sell large manuscripts of tricks he "created". "That Krassical magician tried to sell me his duct-taped card to pocket routine manuscript."

lewissism - the ability to provoke a strong reaction in people for your own amusement

- kentonesque work shared only between friends...

cassidyitis - not getting the goods you ordered...that site has cassiditis, dont order from them...

tomology - the study of verbal cultural arcitypes

annemanneristic - any obession with teddy, the genius...

- any kind of electronic based mentalism device

- Keep It To Yourself (usually used when tipping a good book or effect)

teflo-mage / teflon magician, a magician so convinced with his own abilities that no amount of constructive critisism or verbal bashing will change his perspective or position.

inductive aurer, the ability to draw in crowds to witness magic, the user dosn't need to be great at magic they will be perceved as great.

Hairoshima n. Catastrophic tonsorial ignition. Generally brought about by the ill advised use of flash paper/cotton/string in close proximity to the magician's overly hairsprayed barnet (sic). See hairoma n.

Praying Mantis n. Descriptive name given to the rather unnatural stance adopted by some magicians. Thought to be caused by the inability to straighten or lower the arms during a performance for fear of spilling a cartload of previously vanished items back out of his sleeves.

Gaffshiver n. Peculiar judder of icy coldness that slithers down one's spine when producing a gimmicked prop for the first time. "...and here we have a completely normal pack of cards.." (meanwhile, a tiny voice inside says, 'They'll never buy that!! That's the fakiest fake I've seen in a fakin' long time!!) See also: gimmicktremble n. fakeshake. n.

sankeytized - forever saying "let's try something..." as a lead into an effect

rymanized - the trance mentalists go into when looking through the shop Rymans

ssshhh-i.t. - that strange little moment before you start performing with IT, quietly saying to yourself "pleasedontbreakpleasedontbreak..."

debit magee - something that you buy cos you think it looks nice on screen, but regret having it after you've inspected it more closely...

Lost and Found Deck n. Not so much a trick as a speed clean around the lounge 5 minutes before She Who Must Be Obeyed comes come from work. Usually occurring after the first watching of your new card spinning dvd; it primarily involves locating as many cards as possible from behind sofa, back of telly (amongst all the dusty wires.. bleargh!), wedged sideways in picture frames (this one tends to go unnoticed for several days), scythed through a bunch of fresh flowers, etc. The magician should never become alarmed or dismayed in never finding all 52 cards as this is a scientifically proven impossibility. Note: the world record stands at 49 and is currently held by a Mr. Archibald Fingerwedge of Portsoy, Scotland. (" Ah hunted aw ooer the hoose fur the missin' 3 cards," Mr Fingerwedge said, "but it wisnae tae be. Turns oot they wur behind the radiator an' twa days later they burnt ma hoose doon... but that's magic for ye!! Extract taken from the Buckie Gazette, April 1954)

Tomo n. A wizard who combines genuine psychology with classic mentalism. Also the founder of a new branch of mentalism "Mummy when I grow up I'm going to be a Tomo"

JAYDED - Feeling the next morning after staying up too late watching sankey dvds

CHAIN STORED - Going into a magic shop and buying one thing after another unitl you run out of cash

MUGGLED - Excuse given to partner after being chain stored " I don't know what happened love, I think I was Muggled!"

Shull-Bit, n. pl. False explanation for a trick that suggests some sort of mystical or psychic power. Common usage : "That whole NLP line is a crock of..."

Angler n. A magician whose effects are so angle-sensitive they are only suited for poorly shot YouTube videos or expensive TV specials.

Overspending v. Spending a gimmicked coin. See also: Oblex

"Free Gift with Purchase" n.
1. A phrase which, when utilized on magic websites, causes those with a C.U.P.S disorder to salivate and furiously click the "add to cart" button.
2. Receiving a gimmicked coin as change in a purchase.

Blackbirded verb A magical aparatus of great promise that is quickly assined to a dusty draw never to be seen again is said to have been Blackbirded. originally "that prop went the way of the raven"

CUPerware - Goods that you are flogging on after using once/never because they were purchased in the throes of a CUPS fever. Remember, one man's CUPerware is another man's bargain! "Check out the for sale section, Tom Lauten's just added a load of CUPerware!

Magisexual - adj. - a descriptive word for an item or action that would normally be classed as camp or inappropriate, but because it is used for magical purposes no one says anything. "Yeah, I like coin magic but I'd never use one of those little magisexual purses, just not my style. or "Why would I be carrying a purple silk?! It's so magisexual!"

Sharpie n Weapon of choice for magicians and mentalists for having cards signed, coins initialed or words written down.

Burnimverb To describe a mentalists performance as having an exceptional effect on his audience. "Derren Brown, burnim" orinially derived from the cries of "witch burn him"

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