by Dominic Rougier » Jan 14th, '09, 16:05
Oh christ....
um...
Right.
In prehistoric Britain, there lived two tribes in what we know as present-day Berkshire.
The first tribe was the Cassi, and the other was the Damnonii. These tribes constantly warred against each other every summer, and fell into an uneasy truce every winter. Both tribes were deeply hateful of the other, although they were forced to do business with each other to survive. All members of each tribe were fearsomely proud.
A Cassi boy and his father were wandering through town, when the child espied a roaming mead wagon, the Ancient British equivilent of an Ice Cream truck. Licensing laws were much more lax back then, and children could get just as drunken and rowdy as their elders.
The boy grew excited and, after considerable tugging on his father's jerkin, was given a small item of value to barter with, and off he skipped to buy his mead.
A moment later the boy ran back, crying. His father enquired as to why, and the boy said that the mead seller had refused to sell him mead, despite the offered trade being more than equitable, and the seller had an abundance of mead on offer - in fact he had sold some both before and after the boy had made his request, and men and children were swiftly filling up the streets in a drunken haze, singing lewd songs and bothering the womenfolk.
The man stormed over, and demanded to know why the seller refused to give up his mead.
The seller replied "I will not give this mead to any of the Cassi!"
Reaching for his handaxe, the Cassi father raised his voice and demanded that the mead seller sell him the mead, assuming he was of the Damnonii.
The seller then replied "No sir, you do not understand... I too am of the Cassi"
The father looked confused, the seller explained, and the man and son left satisfied but empty handed.
What did the mead seller say?
Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash, and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.
You were closer...
