talkmagic.co.uk

We all know the one liners used with heckler (I never forget a face, but in your case I'm willing to make an exception).

What good one liners, jokes or puns do you have? Perhaps once we've got a few listed we can run a poll for the pun of the year!

I was thinking of the great one-liners Tommy Cooper had and realised that we must have a bunch of them between us.
Vic

I used to have one that was exactly the same but slightly different.

always loved this one.

God it's hard to think of them on the spot - normally I just wove them into a routine to make it seem witty and amusing. - You can apparently buy a computer magic program which has puns and jokes for every trick and situation. Quite expensive though!

I think there's another thread about this somewhere, but anyway:

"You and me should be a double-act. Yeah, we'll call ourselves the 'Symbolics.' I'll be 'Sim,' and you..."

"I bet your mouth's (or gob's) pleased when you go to sleep."

Hello, are you married or happy?

Zack wrote:I think there's another thread about this somewhere, but anyway"

I searched the forum using the search tool and couldn't find anything obvious.

Heard one from stand-up comedian (on Sky) to bloke who'd been gobbing off:

"O.K. can you just be quiet for a moment while I'm trying to talk to your carer!"

Ouch,

Vic

From Darwin:-

Now that we've established the fact that there's only one magician here.

Just loved this one

To anyone heckling any part of your act....

'I remember my first alcoholic drink!!'

Best one, that i still use came from seeing Bette Midler live about 20 years ago when she was heckled by one bloke in the audience. Unfortunately I can't write it here as there are younger people in the forum!!

I love the old one:
We havent set anything up before the show? I havent bribed you or anything like that? No? Oh s**t wrong person....

Ha ha lovely.

Captain Fantastic wrote:Unfortunately I can't write it here as there are younger people in the forum!!

phphphphphphphptttttttttt

Kati