talkmagic.co.uk

Done

Hey, Laurence...

Sorry if I stepped out of line with the Order History thing... but seriously - I've checked order status' before in anticipation of receiving goods - only to find the stuff is delivered to my door a day before the site updates.

More of a little observational gripe than a problem.

PS... any luck with those missing instructions for Crazy Card?

Oh, I am the first to admit that we have been remiss in updating the system in the past, but I would say that 99% of the time, the system is now updated on the day of despatch.

Yip, just in today! Please PM me a fax number if you have it or I'll send it on to you.

btw: I presume you didn't read the PM I sent you? I know you receive a lot, so it may have been accidentally deleted!

p.s. I am going to remove your facility to post messages until I catch up. As site owner, I now insist on having the maximum number of posts!

Just have a word with the other Admin crew - we can work miracles and get you well ahead in the number of post stakes! (Only £50 - each - as well!)

Hey Mandrake

I believe that is equivalent to bribing a policeman..... so I guess thats ok then!

True - but I'm far cheaper!

I heard you were cheap

Actually, talking of cheap - I know where there's a couple of budgies going cheap. And apparently, the same company have doves on Higher Perches...

someone please administer seige with a virtual kick in the Harris...

Oh dear - I'm sitting here laughing out loud at this rash of postings and the Bank Manager walks in - he now knows I'm a complete nutter who laughs at computer screens!

complete nutter

If you also talk to your screen and sing out loudly with the headphones on, you are bordering the level of madness working from home has bestowed upon me

...You know you're losing the plot when you're working on your computer at home, and you go through the following scenario...

Mission: Finish a job before the end of the day. You've had all day to get started, but you decided to do recreational stuff instead (pub, dossing etc.)

So, you finally sit down to start at 8pm, KNOWING you've GOT to finish the mission by 10am the next day - and it's bankably going to take at least 4 hours - or even more.

Where do you start??? Plan the project?

Nope - open the internet browser and log on to Talk Magic, browse around the net, check a few emails...

8:45pm - still browsing the internet. You treat yourself to a break - go and get a bottle of San Miguel from the fridge and back to the desk.

8:55pm - after noticing upon your return from the fridge that you had a reply to one of your posts - you sit back down and log back into Talk Magic. This inspires you to do some retail therapy... internet magic shopping time... [PERCENT OF JOB COMPLETED - 0%]

9:25pm - stashing your plastic back in your wallet, you suddenly remember that you had an urgent job to do... just time to check your emails first, though...

10:15pm - second visit to fridge for beer, and grabbed a Jacob's cracker with a lump of Danish Blue while you were there. Get waylayed by her indoors, who is watching a saucy programme on Channel 4.

10:35pm - back to computer. Start on the mission... suddenly remembering why you are there.

10:55pm - third visit to fridge. Not for beer - for another of those crackers and cheese - hmmm!!! [PERCENTAGE OF JOB COMPLETED - 5%]

11:30pm - BRILLIANT! PROGRESS AT LAST!!! You've received email confirmation that your order is being processed! Oh well, enough excitement - back to work! [PERCENTAGE OF JOB COMPLETED - 25%, BUT YOU ARE UNDER THE ILLUSION IT'S MORE LIKE 50%]

12:01am - NO! You've gone past midnight - fatal. Her indoors has been in bed for 1 hour, and you can hear her snoring. Temptation to have another beer is too great - and you once again visit the fridge. There's a funny empty feeling in your stomach, and your eyeballs are starting to get dry. You put some music on for comfort... [PERCENT COMPLETE - 35%, BUT WISHFULLY FEELS LIKE 75%]

12:44am - There is no way you're going past 1am. No way at all. But Magicdisoman's on the forum - hmm... just a couple of minutes...

1:15am - after your second glass of water, you finish off on the forum - and quit both your browser AND your email package to get out of temptation... [PERCENT COMPLETE - 50% - FEELS LIKE 88.5%!!!]

1:30am - time to call it a day. You'll set your alarm clock for 6:15am, that's nearly five hours sleep... then, wake up and finish the job off... a doddle - considering you're 88.5% of the way there!!!

1:39am - "why aren't I tired???"

6:15am - "BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" - alarm clock! Eyes feel like someone's painted them with glue, mouth dry, head hurts... surely you haven't even been asleep for an hour yet? NO! Oh well, there's plenty of time - maybe you WERE a bit hasty with the 6:15am call - hit snooze - that's another 10 mins - and besides, you reckon you were actually closer to 90% complete...

7:30am - WHAT???? You lost count how many times you pressed Snooze, didn't ya? Her indoors wakes you up with a cup of tea, as you dart back to the computer. It's work time...

7:32am - You suddenly realise you were only 50% complete on the mission, and work like stink to finish it before 10am... You're cold, hungry, and tired. Not surprising. Now, where in hells name did that important piece of paper go???

8:15am - You're making more progress per-minute now than you ever did - you're a machine! The second wind has caught up with you! (Probably that Danish Blue)

9:15am - Still in your dressing gown, you are putting the finishing touches down. What a hero - you made it! [95% COMPLETE!!!]

9:16am - world turns to crud - computer freezes and you can't work out why.

9:25am - computer back on line - let's just see how the Forum and my emails are doing...

9:40am - postman calls, you're still in your dressing gown. There's a catalogue in the post for the latest gizmos and gadgets - which you obviously tear out of it's cellophane and read... despite being 20 minutes away from doom...

9:51am - back to the computer.

10am - 100% MISSION COMPLETE. Exhausted, relieved, thirsty, hungry, tired, cold, unshaven...


Sound familiar???

you're still in your dressing gown

Not that Teletubbies one, I hope. Apart from that change the times from pm to am, and coffee for the beer and you're on the way to describing my day quite accurately. Can't hear 'er indoors snoring when I'm here at work either.

oooo i like the idea that I'm keeping you from your work, well one side does the other side is ashamed that it takes glee in your dimise.
another side is to busy looking for rats to take any notice, the side typing now is in two minds as to what to thinks thats the ex carer and currently ill side so have a bit of sympathy.

thease days i tend to nap during the day and stay awake most of the night was anight worker mostly anyway.

i havent had any problems with delivery from lawrence and i remember being a slightly difficult customer too, sson as i can put enough by i,m going to order mark wilson's pedia, so i'll have something to read at 3am, just finished lair by steven king and at alooae end at the moment.

Seige I spot a kindred spirit, some may think you've just done that as a funny, but I know exactly how accurate that is

My only difference is that I point blank refuse to set the alarm clock more than about once a month ( if I really have to )