The concept is there, and it is an entertaining one. But as everyone has said you need to work a great amount on your effect. You are very stiff and call way too much attention to what you are doing. My suggestions (atleast the ones I can give without fear of exposure. Feel free to PM me if you care to hear further ones...)
Practice every move 500 times a day individually infront of a mirror or camera. (I am sure you have both.) Camera would probably be best. Make sure your handling is completely natural and every move you do justified. (I also saw a few things I shouldn't have.)
The key point is the over said and over looked statement, "Do every move so much until you can do it without thinking about it." There is a hidden agenda to this statement that it seems many magicians miss. The more important factor that comes from this is not confidence in your skill, and fluidity. Those help. If you aren't thinking about what you are doing, if it is just happening, it's obviously more natural... but also not focused on. Since you place no focus there, who else would?
Learn a few more CC's. Penguinmagic.com has a DVD by Jay Noblezada which has some very good ideas on it. (No, I neither know nor am being paid by anyone involved.)
Then of course work on your patter. I would venture to say that good pattern can save bad handling (to an extent.) Not that your handling was bad, please don't take it to mean that. I just mean, patter is the more over looked yet more important side of magic. (A lesson I learned the hard way.)
I hope this helps. And keep up the good work!
