talkmagic.co.uk

Okay, I've been a member of TM for a few months now and I've already seen really bad excuses for not having the instructions to a trick and asking someone to give them the explanation for free. So here's what I propose: think of the best (or lamest, depending on your mood) excuse to get an effect explanation free of charge. I think it would be a nice little contest, almost like innuendo bingo.

I'll get the ball rolling.

I got the instructions in the mail, but I had only read them once when my little brother and his friends got their hands on them. They drew concentric circles on the directions and then used the pages as a paintball targets. And they did it with every page, all ten of them. They also did it with the envelope and the receipt so I have absolutely no way of contacting anyone except you guys on the forum.

Everything I say below is going to be a lie:

But before I get on with the lying, I would appreciate it if any of you here at the forum can help me with something. I ordered an effect off of eBay a month ago. The seller, after receiving my 120 dollars via debit card, said he would ship the instructions to Acidus Globus. I thought I got a good deal, but when the seller's information vanished I got worried. I contacted eBay, but they said they had no records of the seller's account (BobEwell227).
I would send you guys the evidence that I payed (a receipt from eBay), but my email address got deleted for some reason. I payed with my Christmas present money. I would hate to have to tell my grandparents that their hard earned money got lost. Please help. Please.

Now for the lie. Everything I wrote above is a lie.

Please help,

I am being held captive in a Chilean prison cell with only a small palm-top computer concealed in my rectum allowing me communication with the outside world. My captors are cruel men, savage and depraved; one of them has a tattoo of a wolf on his eyeball. They say they will torture me senseless unless I perform some magic for them. But here's the thing. I recently ordered and received the latest life-changing epic from Ellusionist - "Devil's Exorcist" by Wayne Garcia - but, due to my unforeseen capture and incarceration, was unable to learn it. I have the cards here with me now, but obviously have no idea how to perform it. Please tell me the secret, otherwise I may never see the light of day again.

Yours in fear of crocodile clips,

John

ill tell u teh secrit to devils exorist if u put up a tutoriul for chris angles flying methods. i know how to do stigmata to! if any1 wanna trade 4 exorsist, teach me teh icaros levitaton. my email is unintelligible_nonsense_spewing_SOB@hottmale.com

Xorsist is dun lyk dis. U sho th eleft hand empty. clearly empty. U plaec teh coin fron the rigt hand to teh left. USE MISSEDERECTION! 2 mysdirection, chant a bible verse bakward (i use Exodus 35 or Deuteronomy) in hebrew. take up at least 10 minits. show thet a coin appeared in teh left hand!
Sry for mai bad english. I never read book.

I found an sad exposure video on YouTube. I like to post on them with my rants

Anyway, the boy started off by saying "Ever wanna learn a magic trick from a magician, but they were to stupid to let you know?" Then he went on teaching card through window and Ace Assembly!

I emailed him asking why the heck he was doing it, and he said, "So poor people can learn magic"

I brought the DVD but forgot I was deaf!! Can sum1 email me how to do it... then I can read cuz I aint blind yet!!

dont write it artikulattly though cuz i dont read so good.. be basik in ur exlplenasion.

thanks in advance.. suckers

I'm bummed because I can't use my Art of Astonishment DVDs now. The first time I tried the play them, my DVD player spontaneously combusted. The repair man said it was because I had a gremlin stuck in the interface which crossed the power lines. I need soemone to rip the Art of Astonishment DVDs and email me them. I would have the DVDs, but like I said, a stupid gremlin destroyed them.

http://www.talkmagic.co.uk/ftopic19013.php&highlight=

These two topics seem very alike....

I thought I'd maybe elaborate on that thread a little bit more.

Besides, don't blame me. I wasn't even going to start this thread but then my other personality, the hand puppet, took over and made me do this.

wil trayd u da most best coin vanish that i innvenntted myself an no1 els nos for any of davd blaynz or chris rock trix

Right, I am not asking for anyone to tell me but how does Derren Brown do that thing with the hypnotism and the man he sent to Katmandu? I did know how it was done once because a mate had that book thing that tells you but the pages got eaten by a slug. I have got all the Derren Brown stickers from the sweet packets but they don't say what he does.

I know its really easy and I need to send my little brother away because he is bugging me and keeps telling people how I do all my really hard magic tricks like the one where you turn the card over and it is sometimes the one the person thought of. And when its not you just pretend it is. I don't know what its called but a really cool bloke does it on YouTube and then sets fire to himself.

So if someone could just send me the Derren stuff, you can PM me if you don't want other people to read it cos I know you get all stuffy on here about this secrecy stuff.

Don't understand that really, if Derren Brown didn't want us to know how he does things he wouldn't do them on TV would he? Stands to reason

HELP! I am tied to a train track with a train approcahing at full speed in Alberqureque and sending you this message via my palm pilot. My last wish is to learn Criss Angel's levitation, so I have something to think about when I am in heaven.

God bless you!

Yeah er..... Hey, new here (first post and all) .

So what i need if for all of you to stop what your doing and tell me how to do the following effect........

Hovering Card
Fraud
King Rising
Stigmata
Revolution
Sinful
M5 System
Inside Magic
Ninja 1&2
Kard Klub

O and the reason i need to know them is because i was doin my magic on the streets like David Blane (wooooooooooooooow he rocks, my hero!!!!) and this brid like flew over and pooped on me. The blow to the head cause a sever bout of amnesia and so i couldn't remember the tricks above or where i put the explanations, which i did buy, honest

So yeah you all better help me, coz i need to learn, *coughs* i mean remember these effects.

I've just spent all my savings on the **** effect. But I'm having problems with the *******er and I don't know what to do with the *****t ***c Can someone pleeeez tell me how to do it?

Pleez tell me da secrit 2 da Indecent trickz. I got me a DVD, but den der woz a problem wi a elephant and u no how day r. Pleeeeaasseeee! I desprite 2 no da secrit!