talkmagic.co.uk

abraxus wrote:you beat me to it lomster...

I am an officially ordained priest...im apparently allowed to do weddings?!

ordained in denver colarado apparently - can't remember what church it was, not one of the major brands...it allowed you to follow whatever belief system you chose...

I only did it cos I thought it might be amusing to myself to have Reverend as a title...

Same here, I am the reverend Dan Schwen

bow bevfore me my child and I shall absolve you of all sins.... for a price

I am too but at some liberatarian organisation in California.

Although a minister I can only perform such things in the States as you need a licence that is valid over here

However if anyone is planning to get married in the states I'll do the ceremony for a return ticket to Vegas.

One thousand years and 2 weekends later.
(Teacher talking to purples)

And it came to pass that Mandrake became the Messiah
of Grand Wizarding Order of Talk Magic. With his loved one Lady of Mystery always at his side ( Card in Garter always at the ready) also vodka and coke and chocolate ready for the gathering. Then the Messiah Mandrake would give words to his followers.

No one knows the meaning of the secret sentences that follow we have no record of what they mean in Magical terms. But on the day Messiah Mandrake give out these words it was said the followers fell silent and some where never to speak again.

Children look a your hollow graphical looner pads to see these sentences
but never speak them as only the Messiah Mandrake was the only one permitted to say the "Magical" words

(The Children see)
Ffs guys Lift the seat!!! Lady is doing my head in every morning.

When you use the last of the roll change it I am sick of getting comfy with my Daily Sport and having to use page 6 because none of you know how to change a Roll.

The next one to fart when I am talking will be out pack it in!!!


TC ALL

Lady of Mystery wrote:

If our holy communion can consist of vodka and coke and chocolate I think is sounds like a great idea.

Now that's worth going to church for

It doesn't bother me what people believe, it's like musical taste really.

It's suprising how many christians, hindus, etc ask me for tarot readings.
People have an inbuilt curiousity for the unknown despite their faith.

I found David Icke's views on religon in his books 'The Biggest Secret' and 'Children of the Matrix' very interesting.

Quote:
If our holy communion can consist of vodka and coke and chocolate I think is sounds like a great idea.


Now that's worth going to church for

We hand out beer at fathers day, chocolate on mothering sunday, and consume both as much as is reasonable whenever there is opportunity in our church.

Oh, and my granny used normal playing cards to read fortunes. Apparantly trained by a gypsie.

She was accurate. or was it just CR?

I was to young to remember.

Just a word to the wise - try not to put any religion into a box that is roughly the size of a fraction of your computer screen. You can't summarize any of them like that, and risk causing offence if you do. Its like saying all those who follow Islam are going to blow things up. That is sooooo far from the truth it is unbelievable. Same with Christians - don't assume that we are all of the sock and sandle brigade with rainbow straps on our guitars. (if you know anything about church then you will know about this)

some of us are trying to work out what church is anyway. Jesus has been watered down and turned into some weak historical figure who looks good with little lambs.

Not the guy who had the flesh stripped from his body by a cat of nine tails and hung out with the people the rest of society wouldn't talk to. Yeah, religion has done some bad stuff. But people from all sorts of faith, Islam, Christian and others, have transformed the world for the better.

byron0512 wrote:

Quote:

. Same with Christians - don't assume that we are all of the sock and sandle brigade with rainbow straps on our guitars..

My guitar strap has aliens from another planet who believe in the power of suggestion and are in search of the real Theadore Anneman so they may be able to play real mind games.

Oh yes, there is a cream you can out on those sponge ball, but it turns them red.

Al Doty wrote:

byron0512 wrote:

Quote:

. Same with Christians - don't assume that we are all of the sock and sandle brigade with rainbow straps on our guitars..

My guitar strap has aliens from another planet who believe in the power of suggestion and are in search of the real Theadore Anneman so they may be able to play real mind games.

Oh yes, there is a cream you can out on those sponge ball, but it turns them red.

I don't have a strap for my ukulele. I can hold it all by myself.

I don't have a strap for my ukulele. I can hold it all by myself.

would that be whilst you're leaning on the lampost at the corner of the street, or cleaning windows?

George Formby was quite the ladies man apparantly, which means that there is hope for us all!

byron0512 wrote:George Formby was quite the ladies man apparantly, which means that there is hope for us all!

True, and his Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machines are rather good as well....

byron0512 wrote:

I don't have a strap for my ukulele. I can hold it all by myself.

would that be whilst you're leaning on the lampost at the corner of the street, or cleaning windows?

George Formby was quite the ladies man apparantly, which means that there is hope for us all!

A cheeky grin and a song about Mister Wu and you have the ladies drooling. Trust me. Guitars are old hat.

turned out nice again then....

Mandrake wrote:

byron0512 wrote:George Formby was quite the ladies man apparantly, which means that there is hope for us all!

True, and his Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machines are rather good as well....

I think that's George FOREMAN that has the grilling Machines...

No it's definietely the boxer fella George Formby.

GeorgeForeman is the guy with the ukelele singing about washing windows.

George Formby's Ukulele - like Captain Corelli's Mandolin but cheaper.