talkmagic.co.uk

Anybody got any famous and/or funny last words?

I love random quotes etc.

Famous last words:

"I'm not going to slow down, I have the right of way....."

"I don't feel very well...."

"Don't worry, the gun isn't loaded...."

"Guys! Check this out..."

Its not really last words, but Spike Milligan once said he wanted:

"See! I told you I was ill"

on his tombstone - always makes me smile

Richard

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

Humphrey Bogart

Too late for fruit, too soon for flowers.

Walter De La Mare

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . .

(Killed in battle during US Civil War.)
General John Sedgwick

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.

Oscar Wilde

"That's not a real f*****g gun!"

John Lennon[/i]

Dave on Saturday, painting the bedroom ceiling

Oh don't worry, I don't need to put any dust sheets down. I'll be careful and it the paint wont drip on the floor

15 minutes later and the room looked like a flock of pigeons had been roosting in there.

Lady of Mystery wrote:15 minutes later and the room looked like a flock of pigeons had been roosting in there.

and of course you love him all the more for it....

I want my last words to be "you don't have the guts to pull that trigger!"
Doesn't matter how I die, I'd just like those to be my last words.

Go away. I'm all right.
~~ H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946

I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
~~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, d. 1519

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
~~ Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary, d. 1923

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record . . .
~~ Dylan Thomas, poet, d. 1953

Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.
Spoken to his nurse.
~~ George Bernard Shaw, playwright, d. November 2, 1950

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
Killed in battle during US Civil War.
~~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, d. 1864

Lord help my poor soul.
~~ Edgar Allan Poe, writer, d. October 7, 1849


Get my swan costume ready.
~~ Anna Pavlova, ballerina, d. 1931


I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room.
~~ Eugene O'Neill, writer, d. November 27, 1953

Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883

Let's cool it brothers . . .
Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
~~ Malcolm X, Black leader, d. 1966

Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?
~~ Louis XIV, King of France, d. 1715

Why not? Yeah.
~~ Timothy Leary, d. May 31, 1996

Let us cross over the river and sit in the shade of the trees.
Killed in error by his own troops at the battle of Chancellorsville during the US Civil War.
~~ General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson, d. 1863

Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.
When asked if he thought dying was tough.
~~ Edmund Gwenn, actor, d. September 6, 1959

I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.
Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier.
~~ Ernesto "Che" Guevara, d. October 9, 1967

A dying man can do nothing easy.
~~ Benjamin Franklin, statesman, d. April 17, 1790

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.
~~ Richard Feynman, physicist, d. 1988

I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
~~ Errol Flynn, actor, d. October 14, 1959

I've never felt better.
~~ Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., actor, d. December 12, 1939


It is very beautiful over there.
~~ Thomas Alva Edison, inventor, d. October 18, 1931

That was a great game of golf, fellers.
~~ Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby, singer / actor, d. October 14, 1977

That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
~~ Lou Costello, comedian, d. March 3, 1959

I'm bored with it all.
Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965

Et tu, Brute?
Assassinated.
~~ Gaius Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor, d. 44 BC

Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.
~~ Ludwig van Beethoven, composer, d. March 26, 1827

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?
~~ P. T. Barnum, entrepreneur, d. 1891

Am I dying or is this my birthday?
When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964

Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait.
In response to an attending doctor who attempted to comfort him by saying, "General, I fear the angels are waiting for you."
~~ Ethan Allen, American Revolutionary general, d. 1789

Source
http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/dying.html

what tree?.............. (marc bolan)...ill get my coat

STDs? What the **** are STDs?

Count Dracula, Transylvania, 1982

"Careful! Not too tight!" Saddam Hussein

Costello, Lou (1906-1959) "That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted."

Coward, Noel (1899-1973) "Goodnight my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow."

Presley, Elvis (1935-1977) "I hope I haven't bored you."

Olivier, Laurence (1907-1989) "This isn't Hamlet, you know, it's not meant to go into the bloody ear." (To his nurse, who spilt water over him while trying to moisten his lips.)

Thomas, Dylan (1914-1953) "I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record."

"Yes, we can!" - Obama, Barack - Nov 2008

Joking, joking, joking!!

What the **** was that?