talkmagic.co.uk

yddraig wrote: we all know the power lies in the sticks

Indeed it does, you can easily poke someone's out with one of them!

nothing hurts worse than getting hit in the face with an acoustic guitar, ask the singer from my first ever band
and so long as we're slinging jokes around heres a few for ya
What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Overqualified.
Overheard: "Will the musicians please come to the stage. Oh, and the drummer too

• Why do bassists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?
So they can park in the handicapped spot

Q - What do you throw a drowning guitarist ?
A - His amplifier.

Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A - A guitarist who's told too many bass player jokes.

there you go.

Guitars:
Old Washburn stratty thing with a bridge humbucker and a Floyd-Rose.
Ovation Applause semi-acoustic (sounds a bit bathtubby, but you need an acoustic, don't you?)
'98 US standard Strat

Favourite guitarists:
Brian May, David Gilmour, Mark Knopfler...and then everyone else...
Rory Gallagher (never a big SRV fan - sorry), Trevor Rabin, Hendrix, John Squire, Joe Bonamassa, Johnny Greenwood - off the top of my head.

On the offchance:
Anyone looking to sell an Electric Mistress as a sensible price?

So this drummer was walking down the street, realised he was hungry and decided to go get some fish and chips. Went into the shop, peered through the steam and said, 'Large Cod and Chips with mushy peas and a can of Coke please'. The assistant looked at him for a moment and said, 'You're a drummer, aren't you? Amazed, he said, 'Yes I am, how can you tell?' and she replied, 'Because this is a laundrette ya pillock!"

For the honour of drummers everywhere.....


What's the difference between a guitarist and a mutual fund?

One matures.

------


What is another term for fretless bass?
A manually-operated Pitch Approximator.

-----


One night the band leader approaches the bands bassist and asks him to play a little more free. "What do you mean ?" the bass player asks. The keyboardist replies "well, for instance, when we start ' One Note Samba ', you wait 3 bars and come in on flat 3rd, then play 2 bars and skip the next one. Go straight to the turn around, then play flat 7th for 5 bars, and finish early with a sharp 5th." The bassist considers this for many minutes, and finally says he can't possibly accomplish such a mammoth task, especially since the part the leader described would sound so dissonant. To which the leader angrily says, "well, why not? That's exactly what you played last night!"

and in case anyone feels left out....

A trombone player, an accordian player and a keyboard player are doing a New Year's gig at a local club. The place is packed and everybody is loving the music. Shortly after midnight, the owner comes up to the duo and says, "You guys are terrific--everybody is raving about the music. Would you like book here for next New Year's Eve?" The two musicians look excitedly at each other, nod agreement, and then turn to the club owner and say, "Sure, we'd love to. Is it OK if we leave our equipment here?"

Mark Knopfler! How could I forget.

As we've moved onto drummer jokes...

A drummer goes into a music shop, looks around for a while and goes to the sales desk. He tells the shop keeper, "I'm a drummer, but I'm sick to death of taking flack for it all the time, so I'd like to start some new instruments. I'll take that cool looking red trumpet, and the accordian over by the wall."

The shop keeper thinks for a second, then replies "well, I suppose you could have the fire extinguisher, but the radiator's got to stay."


And another bassist joke...

The guitarist walks backstage one day to find the drummer and the bassist squabbling and fighting. He asks what's going on. The bassist says, "he started it - he's detuned one of my strings and he won't tell me which one!"

Not cool . Funny but not cool.that happened tome when I first started playing

Quick add to my list, I just bought a Epiphone Goth Thunderbird IV. Wonderfull Instrument.

Thought I'd resurrect this thread a bit...

I'm thinking about overhauling my rig for my much anticipated (by me...) return to the guitar after my exams.

I love my Laney but even 30 watts is too loud to be that useful in a bedroom/small gig setting - besides, I'd rather push a smaller valve amp to it's limits and mic it up if necessary. So, I'm looking at some of the excellent looking 5 watt all valve jobs that are around - Fender champ 600, but more likely, the epiphone valve junior head plus suitable cab (because I can always just go from the head into a line out rather than have to mic up).

Anyone had any experience of these?

Also putting a new pick-up in my tele, and considering getting a tube screamer TS9 to mod into the TS808... love to have projects

vox do a wicked little valve amp... i'll search it out for you!! it's 5 watt but kicks ass big style

Cool, cheers mate

My only concern with it being a Vox is that it'll be too expensive for me to take apart and monkey with... which I inevitably will

I've only just noticed this thread. I've read all through it and I can't believe nobody has mentioned one of the best guitar manufacturers out there - ESP.

I owned an ESP V250 for a while, until I went all unemployed and had to sell it. Now I'm back in lucrative work I may well place an order soon for this little whore:

Wow, that's a stunner. Almost makes me want to play a six string! Almost.

I play bass, only got a cheap Stingray copy. It's really nice for a copy though.

The power/black metal band I started in last year had a guitarist who worships ESP and LTD brand gutiars to the point he wont even listen to bands that dont have at least one member who uses them he tried to have ME kicked out because I only use Ibanez.

Also quick update, I had to sell the thunderbird I just bought last month in order to make my car payment

But not all is lost my mom felt bad for me and bought me and Ibanez SR300DX 4 string last week. Its beautiful and plays marvelous. I only have to get used to switching between it and my 5 string because the fret size is so much different the 5 has jumbo frets and the new 4 has meduim so its quite a shift but not too big an issue.

Now if only I could afford that Trace Elliot stack I've been looking at.

i don't subscribe to branded guitars, i prefer to find one that sounds good to you, and learn to love it...i've played the same make and model of guitar, loved one, hated the other...a guitar should be part of you...

I didnt either at first. My first two(the washburns) I got simply becuase they were cheap and I was broke. As I continued playing and started saving some money, I began trying new brands out Epiphone, Gibson, ESP/LTD, OLP, Fender and pretty much any brand I could get my hands on. I eventually narrowed it down to pretty much only using Ibanez.

I guess ESP guitars are good for magicians.

I always steer clear of guitar players who are geeky about their gear. They usually have as much charm and character as a used bath mat and glow chrimson when they stand within 5 feet of a female. Plus they care more about the guitar than the song, or any other aspect of a band, like having fun while you play.

I've used various lumps of wood over the years, but i like to struggle whilst playing. I like it to be difficult. When i've finished a gig i like it to feel like i've just had a fight with the thing. And won obviously. So its a high action for me, long neck with wide frets, and a big old body to contend with. Epiphone 335 studio fits the bill nicely.

While im here if any of you are in Newport, pop along to TJ's tonight to watch me struggle with said beast.