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horrific fish and whale puns.

theres no-fin wrong with a cod pun

It's a no fin situation.

Back in the 1990's I had a friend who took a rather rough girl out to the pictures. They went to see Schindler's List. As the film started the girl said "Oh no, it's not all in black & white is it?" Perhaps she imagined it would be like Wizard of Oz where halfway through it would burst into song and technicolor.

As Schindler's List ended some 3 hours later there was stunned silence in the cinema as the people there took time to absorb what they had just witnessed. Apart from the rough girl who said rather loudly "Ooh, my *rse!"

My friend decided not to take this girl out again, but being a gentleman he decided to call her and explain. "I went to the pictures again the other day," she said. "Oh?" asked my friend. "What did you go to see?" "Free Willy" she replied. "It was better than that sh*t you took me to see."

The whale in question has previous form for this sort of thing.... He drowned another trainer back in 1991, and was then 'quickly' sold to Seaworld. In 1999 the body of a naked man was found draped across the whale's back... The plot thickens... and does this make him the world's first Serial Killer Whale?

I have a similar cinematically-based story...

A good few years ago when DVD's were just starting to edge out VHS, I was teaching an IT course in Dublin and, at lunch one day, the subject of films came up and, more specifically, the extras that can found on DVDs.

One partiular guy and I really hit it off and spent a long time talking about the copious extras that could be found on DVDs released by Criterion - particularly some of the perceived 'classics', so we were discussing some of the documentaries/alternate cuts/commentaries that could be found on discs such as 'The Third Man', 'The 400 Blows' and more recent efforts such as Gilliam's 'Brazil'.

Just then, one of the other delegates interjected with "Yeah and you can also see the hours of make-up that Martin Lawrence had to go through for 'Big Momma's House 2'....

Silence descended......

Chris wrote:

horrific fish and whale puns.

theres no-fin wrong with a cod pun

Shush, you'll give me a haddock.

Mr_Grue wrote:

Chris wrote:

horrific fish and whale puns.

theres no-fin wrong with a cod pun

Shush, you'll give me a haddock.

Just stop it.

Why are they called killer whales? Is there a clue in the name?

I was a killer whale trainer back in the day, lovely creatures.

Tomo wrote:Why are they called killer whales? Is there a clue in the name?

It's the parents' fault. With a name like that, what do you expect it to grow up to be? (With apologies to Richard Wiseman)

kolm wrote:

Tomo wrote:Why are they called killer whales? Is there a clue in the name?

It's the parents' fault. With a name like that, what do you expect it to grow up to be? (With apologies to Richard Wiseman)

Is Richard a bit dim? Or is he a lady??

Some people are just throwing in their puns for the Halibut.

Orca was a weird movie, but not as weird as jaws 4. Good god was that movie stupid. Apparently the Shark caused the very man who killed two Great White sharks earlier in his life to die of a heart attack from a nightmare. Then it decided to follow the wife from the sea side town all the way to Jamaica.

I heard about that. It sure would have been frightening to be in that audience.

A J Irving wrote:before the whole thread potentially descended into an flurry of horrific fish and whale puns.

You're lucky it wasn't a sperm whale.

Randy wrote:...jaws 4. Good god was that movie stupid. Apparently the Shark caused the very man who killed two Great White sharks earlier in his life to die of a heart attack from a nightmare. Then it decided to follow the wife from the sea side town all the way to Jamaica.

Not bad for a fish with a brain the size of a ping pong ball!

It all ranks of whaley-bad speciesism to me. if it had been a land-based mammal it would have been sent to the happy fishing grounds. the problem is that these cetaceans think they are cod's gift but they are not that brill-iant.

I blame the hard core prawn industry for giving 'em the operchtunaty and for us to discus how they are a chip off the old block.