What's gone wrong in your act - time to own up!

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What's gone wrong in your act - time to own up!

Postby Barry Allen » Feb 3rd, '22, 00:33



I was recently re-watching Harry Robson's superb DVD - 'Magic Under Fire'. Harry relates some very funny anecdotes and highlights some of the problems you get working in the real world - either with the trick itself, or indeed the audience.

There's a funny clip of him working to a group, performing Sharpie through note. As he rips the note away from the pen at the finale, the gimmick flies through the air, across to the other side of the room, as he stands there with half a Sharpie. He just breaks down in hysterics. This has a similar effect upon the audience - laughter obviously being infectious! Indeed that night, despite his miracles, that incident was undoubtedly the part of his act that the people within that group fondly remembered.

Which brings me on to the purpose of this post.

Of course, we are indeed all slick, professional miracle-workers and are loved by our audiences. Nothing that we perform EVER goes wrong; because we practice constantly and have devoted our lives to the Art of Magic. OK........maybe things don't always go exactly to plan! To this end, the biggest potential disaster I can relate for you, is as follows.

It was around winter 1981; when a good friend (Dave Wood) and I used to occasionally perform a double act. Dave was primarily a professional children's entertainer. I was a 17yo 'Jack the lad'. However, we used to perform a double act for adults; not regularly but on occasions, as and when requested.

This particular night if my memory serves correctly (and it's still pretty good to be fair) was an 'Old Time Music Hall' evening; held in a converted concert room (in a school-type assembly hall?) in what I think was a College/Polytechnic, located near Great Portland Street in the west end.

Just to add that despite what you are about to read, the real nightmare of the night was sharing a large back stage dressing room with the other acts. Not usually a problem - we've all been there. However, one of the acts was a singer - I'd guess in her late 60's. Body-wise, how can I be polite? For anyone into Botero's work, you'll get the picture. Let's just say most things had 'gone south' or gravity had simply given up. Maybe it was just me being paranoid but it was only when there were just the two of us in the dressing room, that she decided to come and chat about my interest in magic. Not a problem.....just slightly strange that she decided to do this halfway through changing AND with no bra on! Now I've never been a shrinking violet or easily embarrassed - but I must admit to have never had a conversation about magic with a bare huge-breasted grandmother. Maybe it's just par for the course with these 'theatrical luvvie' types!

In fact, having been a Stag Comic for many years, I've worked with countless 'Jack the Rippers' and seen everything - literally. It never phased me for one second......but I still manage to re-live the horror of some years previous.

I digress, let's move on back to the act......quickly!

We used to finish by using 'bang wands' - 4 of them; one held in each hand. They were very good quality - Geman-made I seem to remember. The modus operandi was simply to put a piece of flash paper into the end; whereby this would be ignited via a plastic toy gun cap; and triggered out of the end of the wand producing a large flash - it looked impressive!

Dave was never happy that the flash was enough. You will already be thinking now where this is going! More flash paper would be trialled; but to my mind, it wasn't doing much more than a single piece of flash paper produced. I don't think Dave had ever heard the expression "less is more".

Back to the night in question; the show went over well to the audience of around 200 people, sat on those plastic stackable seats.

Time for the finale as we took our bows; firing the flash wands up into the sky above their heads. As I fired both of mine, 'what the F@#$' flew instantly through my mind. Now, I've never fired a gun in my life (nor do I ever want to) - but have seen things about recoil. As I fired the wands, it felt like they were exploding in my hands.

There wasn't just a spark shoot out......more of a flame? a large flame. In fact, a VERY large flame.

We both looked up, as wads of partly-ignited flash paper balls shot skyward; with fizzing and colour adding to the effect. To our horror, it was only then that we took notice that the ceiling was decked out in what looked like parachute material, drooping down as some sort of decor. As we were on a stage, I cannot honestly say how close the burning paper came to hitting the material - but it was way too close for comfort.

Wads of partly ignited paper flew skywards. It was only on the way down, and literally a few feet from people's heads, that the last remaining wads of flash paper decided to ignite; whilst other partly burnt shreds of the tissue paper floated gently onto the front row. A few of the less adventurous people, with hands covering their heads, decided to jump up out of the way, causing the lightweight chairs to topple over. For some reason, this caused a ripple effect; and panic ensued as people up to the third row decided to jump up and leave their seats too; causing a few screams, chairs to scrape and topple on the floor in a mad scramble. In other words, we'd created bloody mayhem.

I looked across at Dave, he looked back at me. It was at this stage that we couldn't hold it in any more. We both erupted in laughter; tears were streaming down my face and he was literally bent over a table on the stage; laughing, choking and unable to move. It was at this stage people in the audience decided to laugh and cheer - finally seeing the funny side of what they'd just witnessed and the non-requirement to call 999 afterall.

Backstage, I asked Dave "what the f#$€ did you load 'em with"? It was then that he admitted that he'd added some firework powder; and crumbled a few joke shop smoke bombs in for extra measure; to 'give it some kick'.

Suffice to say it could have been an extremely dangerous and potentially horrific outcome. It made me more conscious, even back when 'elf and safe tea' weren't so high on the agenda, of the need for safety AND pre-checking working conditions to assess what could go wrong if using ANY form of fire. Indeed, for many years afterwards, I continued to use both a fire wallet and burnt note to bill tube - thankfully all without any problem.

Well that's my claim to failure, errrr fame.

Have you suffered a nightmare that you can share?

Outside of magic, I once drove my car into an ice-covered canal thinking it was a road - but that's maybe for another time.

Barry Allen
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Re: What's gone wrong in your act - time to own up!

Postby Mandrake » Feb 4th, '22, 12:37

Great story Barry, thank you.

20 years or so ago, I used to have a double ended firing wand, basically a metal tube with small heating elements powered by batteries and ignited by pushing one of two buttons on the centre of the wand. Each end was packed with flash cotton and a ball of flash paper. On operating it (properly) the flash cotton ejected the flash paper which shot out like a firework. All very spectacular and reasonably safe. Having practised with it at home I was confident I knew what I was doing - until showtime! At the appointed time I pointed the wand to the skies and pressed the button. The wrong button. Instead of sending the flash paper upwards I'd pressed the other one and sent a ball of fire downw my jacket sleeve which burned a hole in my shirt sleeve and left me with a burn or two. Needless to say, I haven't used the wand since!

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Re: What's gone wrong in your act - time to own up!

Postby mark lewis » Feb 5th, '22, 01:39

I have had lots of things going wrong when I work. Here is a memorable one. I am cutting and pasting this from my memoir, "The Lives of a Showman":

This was the type of audience that frequented the Blue Angel and regrettably they didn’t hold their drink very well. It also seemed to be a hobby with them to treat the entertainers with the utmost disrespect and heckle them unmercifully. Virtually 90% of the entire audience was intoxicated and it was a very rough atmosphere. I remember one poor lady singer having to put up with a drunk jumping up on stage uninvited, taking his trousers down and bending over in front of her showing his bare behind. I am not sure what message he was trying to convey to her but whatever it was she didn’t seem to appreciate it. I went through hell on earth every night trying to please these idiots but of course never succeeding. The worst part was trying to find someone relatively sober to come up and help. One night I decided to part with my usual procedure of getting someone up on stage to help me because of the drunkenness and since the audience was very close to the stage I merely approached people in the crowd to assist by selecting cards and suchlike. I had great difficulty finding anyone sober that I could approach except for one particular relatively cooperative person.The audience seemed to pick up on the fact that I was kept using the same person all the time and started to yell out, “stooge!” or “plant” implying that the fellow was a secret confederate of mine in the crowd. I then very foolishly exclaimed, “No, anyone can come up on stage to help me!” That was an invitation to disaster for up bounded some idiot in a tuxedo and a very posh upper class accent smelling of drink and slurring, “I’ll help you!” I very doubtfully asked him to select a card and he showed no willing‐
ness to do so. I decided to get rid of him andfollow the advice of one of the night club hostesses at the L’Hirondelle who had previously advised me “Why do you keep those drunks on stage? You should be like other magicians I have seen and get rid of them”.This of course was very good advice but she didn’t tell me what to do if they refused to go. And yes—thisfellow refused to go! I asked him to go back to his seat and he refused. He then whispered to me, “I’m only kidding, it’s all right—I’ll behave myself ”. Unfortunately, it wasn’t all right and he did not behave himself. In fact, he became far worse. Not only did he select a card he picked out three instead of one, threw two of them into the air and tore the third one
in two pieces dropping them on the floor. He then grabbed the little table I used on stage and held it high above his head and started to walk around with it. It was now dawning upon me that this fellow was not an ideal assistant to have as a volunteer. The audience started to shout, “Get off the stage!” To this day I don’t know if they were shouting “get off ” to him or “get off ” to me.

Suddenly the stage staff put out the lights on stage as a hint for me to get off. I had read somewhere, however, that the show must go on and didn’t take the hint. I just kept on talking like the idiot I was. So what happened? They put the lights back on again! Then two waiters appeared on stage and tried to remove the man but he refused to go. And what did the waiters do? They gave up and left me with him! If I had been more experienced I would have simply given up the show and left the stage but of course I had no idea what the hell I was doing so I was stuck with my unwelcome visitor. Suddenly I heard a woman in the audience shout to me, “Don’t worry, magician—I’ll get him off the stage for you”. So saying she bounded up to the performing area to supposedly help me. However, she was just as drunk as he was. Before I knew where I was the pair of them started dancing together in each other’s arms and it finally dawned on me that perhaps it was time to leave them to it.

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