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Don't worry, this post hasn't got anything to do with Kate Moss

Just thought I'd share a few of the lines I've come up with for getting out of tricky situations:

If you REALLY need someone to chose a particular card, what do you say once you've forced it and they want to change it?!!! Ok, you could just perform something else, but say this is the climax to an effect - then what?! Simple - when they ask if they can change it, I say "Sure, if you have a receipt." Never had anyone come back at me on that one!

Anyone that has performed for strangers will have no doubt heard the line "Can you make yourself/the wife/the mother-in-law (etc) disappear?". I've heard it so often, I've started carrying around a bit of paper with loads of tally marks on it. Whenever a spec hits out with a line that is painfully obvious and totally unoriginal, I take out the paper, make another mark on it and say something like "That's the nineteenth time tonight...", which gives you the last laugh and also makes any would-be hecklers think twice about taking you on!

Any other talkmagic-ers invented a classic or two?

here is a good one. When you perform blank paper to bank note, say"some people think that being a magician is a license to print money" (perform trick) "well it is!"

"Can you make yourself/the wife/the mother-in-law (etc) disappear?".

yes but that costs extra.

MagicBill wrote:If you REALLY need someone to chose a particular card, what do you say once you've forced it and they want to change it?!!!

I constantly reinforce the suggestion that that the cards are well shuffled and back it with proof at every opportunity. I'd use something like, "Well, you can change it if you want to," pulling the deck towards me very slightly, "or we can do this now, and you do it again later, so..." and continue with what you want them to do with the card. If the trick needs resetting, you just avoid doing it again until you can restack or whatever.

I ask them to select the (forced) card then invite them to change their mind (as if I don't want them to have the forced card) I suggest a different card (you have chosen this card but are you sure ? this looks like a much nicer card !), then go back to the orginal card and imply they are being indecisive and suggest they might want to phone a friend...then I use that famous phrase from 'who wants to be a millionaire' is that your "final answer" - no one has ever changed their mind after they have said the words 'final answer' - its like a verbal contract has been agreed.

When asked to make people disappear I reply - you are too late - your wife/mother-in-law has already paid me £4.99 to have you disappear !

after doing a snapchange the other night someone asked me how it was done, my explanation was:
"you hold out the card like this (holding out one card, in position as for a snap change), then i put it on top of the deck (place on top of deck) and look through for a nice contrasting card (searches through deck, makes exagerated face suggesting location of a nicely contrasting card), once found i then hold up the 2nd card......
......but, you know, a lot faster!"

got a few giggles from a friend for that one.

to "how do you do that?"
i've always liked "i could tell you, but then i'd have to kill you, and i've done all my killing for this month" for some strange reason.

When somebody asks how it is done, I just make up a story about that I stop time while an alien comes from down the street and does whatever has been done

When someone asks me "How did you do that!?", I usually say "Very well, thanks!".

'How is that done'

I reply, 'Can you keep a secret' to which they invariably say Yes.

I beckon them forward and whisper in their ear but enough for everyone else to hear and say, 'So can I'

'How did you do that'

As Bill said, I say, 'Very well'

When people ask me how I do a trick I'll sometimes repeat it and preten like I'm showing them how to do it and i'll say right a the key point "all you have to do is snap your fingers" and make them think thats how its done. Also on the making things disappear front I'll just say I can't make people disappear because I'm not that good yet, but I offer the try to make their money disappear that always gets a laugh.

kemo

My favourite for "How do you do that?"

"Well, I can't tell you - you see every time a magician gives away his secrets, somewhere in the world another magician dies - drops dead"

"Oh No!"

Or:

"I can't tell you that because every time a magician gives away his secrets, somewhere in the world a spectator drops dead - and you could easily be next in line!"

Oooooh that's clever - nice one - thanks!