talkmagic.co.uk

Not sure how well known this is but I love it .

• If you are obsessive/compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
• If you are codependent, ask someone else to press 2.
• If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, and 5.
• If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on they line while we trace the call.
• If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully. A little voice will tell you which number to press.
• If you are manic/depressive, you can press any button you want. No one will answer anyway.
• If you are suicidal, please press 7 and we will put you on hold.

LMAO

my doctor has diagnosed me as a paranoid scysophrenic yes he has................. well actualy he didn't say that but we new he was thinking it.

magicdiscoman wrote:my doctor has diagnosed me as a paranoid scysophrenic yes he has................. well actualy he didn't say that but we new he was thinking it.

Scysophrenic?

And the "we knew" thing doesn't work for schizophrenics Maybe for multiple personality...

I've always liked the one

If you're after some Marijuana then press the hash key

or

My wife thinks that I'm nosey! she didn't actually say it - I just read it in her diary

katrielalex wrote: If you are obsessive/compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111????

Nothing seems to be happening....

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
1111?????

Still nothing.... I'll try again later.... (hmmm is it time yet)?

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

Still nothing.... Maybe if I press harder...

11111111111111111111111111111111

Nope.... hmmm.

haha like it flash.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Death is a once in a lifetime experience

Rehab is for quitters!

If I had some ham, I could have some ham and eggs, if I had some eggs

I love cats. They taste like chicken

-e-i-e-i-o is actually a gross misspelling of the word "farm."

If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving definitely isn't for you

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.

i have many many more

1 1 1

hmm still not working.... I'll try later maybe they've gone for a late lunch... hmmm