I'm in a bit of a hole with a stunt I'm putting together and require patter to cover the real reason behind a set of "odd" actions I'm requesting the spec to do.
Basically, after requesting he deposit his spare change on the table, I want him to flip all the coins heads up in a nice line in front of me. This is so I can quickly review the coins for their suitability in the effect.
I don't want the spec to register that I have studied the coins and will be picking out a select few based on certain criteria. What I do want is to immediately dismiss what I have asked him to do (once he has done it) as merely a prank leading up to a punchline.
e.g. Now that the coins are heads side up and Her Majesty is looking to the right on each one: "Sorry [spec], I was just messing you about there.. The Queen looked unwell during her Christmas TV Speech the other day. I felt so sorry for her I just wanted to see her looking right". Stinking right?

Could anyone help me with better cover-story/joke/general BS than this to act as verbal-misdirection please?
Hopefully rewording my original subject title will pay off and I'll get some (polite) responses!
Patter Pickle! Prattle Profs Please Palliate Poor Peformer's Parlez Predicament
