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I collect "in jokes" that is to say, ones which only people within a particular circle will get. For instance, here's on from the world of computer science, which is rife with such things:

Two strings walk into a bar.

The first says, "pint of bitter please"

The second says, "pint of bitter pleaserdfsdafpdj8vsd[vsdmwd98hwrejnv9p8rg;uinfgp9w8rfg;osdfna98wrv;wjkenffnP;Q893EFHOLHF;O8WHUEF;/UH;/UWHWF..."

The first says, "sorry, he's not null terminated"

Now, that's not a funny joke, unless you're a C programmer, and even then, it's not a masterpiece. It is, however, totally alien to anyone outside the circle.

So to my question, are there any in jokes for magicians? Not jokes about magicians, but jokes which only work within the circle (no pun intended).

a guy sliped up and fell on his ardvarks.

can't think of any right now.

i could reel off a fair list of mathematicians ones
things like "it's as easy as pi"................anway..............
if i think of a magic one i'll come back

two mentalists are in a pub....someone nearby gets up and buys them both drinks...the drinks are their favourites...

One doctor meets another doctor in the street and says, 'You're alright, how am I?'

Well, here's some I made up, but they make me titter...

Magician goes to the doctor:
Magician: "Doctor, doctor, I'm having terrible difficulty transposing two halves of a deck"...
Doctor: "Don't worry, I'm sure it will pass eventually"

It gets worse...
A young lad and his mom are driving through Tahoma, California.
They pass a queue of people getting onto a bus...
Lad: "Mommy, why are those people all smiling and giggling?"
Mom: "What people honey?"
Lad: "Those people mommy, the ones that all look like they are dressed from the 80s..."
Mom: "Where hun?"
Lad: "There mommy, getting into that bus... is there something wrong with them mommy?"
Mom: "Oh don't worry, hun... that's the audience taxi bus to the L&L studio"

Just when you thought it was safe...
Two women strolling through Montreal. One turns to the other and says Woman a: "That's the worst advertising I've ever seen... why would making a huge roll-on deodorant with spectacles make me want to use that instead of my favourite brand?"
Woman b: "No, Barbara... that's not a giant roll-on deodorant... it's Jay Sankey in a white polo-neck sweater".

Hmmm... Here's my best (and only) attempt at in-joke creation:

Q) What's the difference between magicians and wonderbras?


A) Wonderbras control their CUPS.

Marvell wrote:Now, that's not a funny joke, unless you're a C programmer, and even then, it's not a masterpiece. It is, however, totally alien to anyone outside the circle.

OK... pop-quiz... (this has a stupid joke, cryptic answer, and was told to me by a programmer buddy)...

Q: Which famous Liverpudlian entertainer of yesteryear could lay claim to having 128 characters to his repertoire?

(C'mon Marvell... this ones' a doddle )

Arthur Askey

... but let's try to stick to magicians' jokes

"Hello Playmates!"

Magician goes to the doctor:
Magician: "Doctor, doctor, I'm having terrible difficulty transposing two halves of a deck"...
Doctor: "Don't worry, I'm sure it will pass eventually"



CLASSIC!

two magicians in a bar, the first makes a pass at his sister... they both smile.

There are - as you could imagine - loads of medical ones!

My favourite is "how do you test cranial nerve eleven?", for which the punchline is to shrug your shoulders as if you don't know... of course cranial nerve eleven is responsible for shrugging the shoulders...

Actually, pretty much any mention of cranial nerves will bring a smirk to the face of most medically trained folk as the mneumonic to remember them is particularly crude. Still, I'll never forget them!

Farlsborough wrote:There are - as you could imagine - loads of medical ones!

ha ha, what's the difference between a penis and a garden hose?

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show:

"Look, it's not the same hat!"

"Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!"

"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was the captain's parrot after all.

One day the ship had an accident and sunk. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for several days.

After a week the parrot finally said: "Okay, I give up. What'd you do with the boat?"