talkmagic.co.uk

This is of high import. Please memorise & distribute.

1: Because I'm a man , when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle
with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling a breakdown serice is not an option. I will win.

2: Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will
lift the bonnet and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking
at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to
be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink
a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

3: Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman.
You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

4: Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries
at the supermarket, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find
exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same
thing.

5: Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.

6: Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my
hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a
whole show looking for it, blaming others living in the house, & yelling
because they are not desperately searching for it with the urgency it
requires.

7: Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking
about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I
have to make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.

8: Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the film.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if
you are feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least
remember the name and recommend it to others.

9: Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought
what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of
shoes is fine With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make
your *rse look too big. That was the chocolate, pizzas & alcohol. Your
hair is fine.
You look fine. Can we just go now?

10: Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will
share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking,
the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to better understand
men.

Amen brother Mandrake, AMEN!

Nice one.
Have they finalised the Nobel nominations for this year yet?

In true Mandrake style, i shall say...

"i hear that the Nobel prize, is absolute dynamite..."

I salute you again sir, you truly do put the Man in Drake...er...

Mandrake wrote:I'm busy putting on the 8 pairs of Trevor Francis approved shin pads ready for when Lady of Mystery sees this thread....

dont make the same mistake i did, and buy the douglas bader ones...

Good call - I'm sure I have my old criket box somewhere to hand, too - I'll drop it in the mail for you this evening bud

Thanks for your support .

How so very very true that is.

Mandrake wrote:5: Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.

Dave did this very one on Sunday. Our washing machine broke down (waiting for the comments now....) and he insisted on taking it apart to fix it, nevermind that he's never seen the inside of a washing machine in his life. Manged to nearly electricute himself and fused the whole house in the process. Right in the middle of me watching Derren Brown on 4 on Demand too.

Lady of Mystery wrote:How so very very true that is.

Mandrake wrote:5: Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.

Dave did this very one on Sunday. Our washing machine broke down (waiting for the comments now....) and he insisted on taking it apart to fix it, nevermind that he's never seen the inside of a washing machine in his life. Manged to nearly electricute himself and fused the whole house in the process. Right in the middle of me watching Derren Brown on 4 on Demand too.

Mandrake,

That went better than I thought it would....

Richard

Mandrake wrote: It does not make
your *rse look too big. That was the chocolate, pizzas & alcohol.

Absolute quality

Lady of Mystery wrote:Our washing machine broke down

Are you better now??

there's nothing there to argue about, it's all just so true

moonbeam wrote:

Mandrake wrote: It does not make
your *rse look too big. That was the chocolate, pizzas & alcohol.

Absolute quality

Grrrr I missed that one, that does deserve a good shin kicking

Trevor Francis shin pads available for hire........