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I am facially unhairy! Which is unfortunate as I am attempting, but to no avail, to grow a "Derrenesque" goatee/beard.

i was born with a moustache..

i own hobbit feet, hair all the way round my forearms, i even have stubble going up to about an inch and a half from my lower eye-lids..thats how hirsuite (you sir) i am...

and i have to pluck my uni-brow... and that, is not a euphamism...

i've had some kind of beard since i was 19 i think...i have a charming van dyke beard for the past 8 months or so...

Indeed, I am blessed with the same hairyness.

Mrs Seige insists on the following:

1. Trimming my eyebrows—every now & then she finds a 1" one poking out. She used to pluck them, but it makes my cry.

2. Shaving the front of my chest/neck, as she said that black curly hair poking through my shirt collar is extremely prehistoric.

3. Shaving my ears: for some reason, since my 30th birthday, I've started growing hair from the inside of my lugholes. And also, along the top edge of my ears themselves, I get black hairs!

4. Nostrils: this is possibly the worst of all the post-30something hair zones... my nostril hairs are like small wires, and without regular attention they end up as rather unsightly and impractical. (I won't go into detail, but having a mirror handy after blowing one's nose is essential)

5. Rapid pre-5 o'clock shadow: I mostly shave each day at around 7.30am. By about 4pm, I am showing signs of shadowing. By the next morning, you could plane wood with my chin.

6. Back hair: No doubt LOMsipie is now cringing, but I am blessed with a back that the Honey Monster would be proud of. So much so, Mrs Seige insists on trimming the hair down on the neck portion. She also insisted I waxed it on our honeymoon, as she told me it was both unsightly and was stopping me tanning correctly!

7. Showering: Mrs Seige is constantly going insane at me as I shed at least a welcome mat of hair in the shower each day, mostly on the soap and my sponge. So embarrased is she, that when people come to stay over or visit, she hides my sponge and puts fresh soap out. I kid you not.

8. I was hairy from the day I was born. At secondary school, I was labelled 'sasquatch' in the showers, which wasn't nice. Especially as once the word got round, the girlies thought I was a weirdo cos I was a little furry.

9. I am particularly hairy around the belly button. This causes a rather odd phenomenon which Mrs Seige calls: 'yuk muck'. Which is, essentially, every night me removing a plug of fluff from my 'innie' belly button, which has adopted the colouring of my clothing.

So, since this is the 'isn't it nice' thread, I have to ask: 'Isn't it nice to have body hair?'

The answer? Well, yes and no. Yes—because I feel in touch with my masculine side, and NO... because it's a pain in the neck having women around to criticise. Personally, I don't have a problem with it, but it seems that having one's own personal grooming servant around is not such fun.

It also prevents me from doing certain magic tricks, oddly enough. Users of these will know the ones I mean. And the horrible smell of re-roasting pork scratchings when using flash paper as the hairs on my fingers incinerate is rather disgusting.

And yes, I have hobbit feet. So much so that my nephew once commented (memorably) that he wanted to be hairy when he grew up so he could have wicked cool feet like uncle Chris. The poor lad hadn't thought about it enough.

yeah, nasal hair...if left untrimmed, mine grows like tarantula fangs, mingling with my moooooostache part of my beard...

strangely, i get one solitary hair growing from my right ear, which is jet black, and can grow to ridiculous lengths...and i get one in the middle of my right forearm too..freak!

back hair...i blame my nan...

i enjoy being hairy i must admit, as siege says, kinda makes you feel like a proper, probably "old school" man...sean connery and fellas like that..

i am regularly called "the bear" by some of my mates, well, most of 'em actually...being tall, broad and a bit lardy round the edges...oh yeah, and i love a good dump in the woods too

EDIT: i forgot, a guy i used to work with, came back down to london for a visit, he bowled into the office and announced loudly "and how's my favourite bear?" to a room full of snotty consultants...excellent behaviour..

and i find using loops good and bad in equal measure, the hair hides them nicely round the wrists, but can also snag if pulled too quickly...

Thank you Seige. I no longer feel such a freak.

Btw, have you ever seen Tyler Wilson perform? He performs a card prediction that only a hairy man could.

I love Van Dyke's beard.

Tyler Wilson's card prediction just freaked me out. Good idea though. I dont think it would be quite as impressive if I tried it.

Seige...

....You poor bu**er - what can I say (apart from, 'I'm so sorry' ) -

You must be one of the few, deprived magis to actually produce more blood during the needle-thru-arm clean-up than you do during the effect itself.

<Riiiippppppp.......WINCE!! Look, ma - I got me a pelt of inner-arm >

I like being hairy, it does make you feel manly and rugged, but the ladies don't like it so much. Some like the chest hair, but a lot don't even like that (I dunno why!)

I am pretty much hairy all over my front, and have been holding of fon getting the needle through the arm trick because I do have some hair on my inner arm. I am also now growing hair on my shoulders and at the top of my back which I really don't like, and keep it well trimmed whenever it is likely to be exposed. I do have some hair on my feet and toes as well which doesn't usually go down well.

The irony is, I can't for the life of me, grow a decent beard, and my hairline is less than great.

The problem is that the rugged, 'manly' look doesn't really suit me. Think Niles Crane in a Wookie suit.

The only plus I can think of is that it does open up (what I think is) a good magician's one-liner. When some wag asks you (as they inevitably will in an audience of two or more people) 'Can you pull a rabbit from a hat?' you are able to answer 'No, but I can pull hairs out of my ears.'
Boom, and I repeat, boom.

? is that you - dr. chew?

Dude, Im so glad the only place I ever grew hair was my goatee and tiny little hairs on my toes!!

I tried to get stubble as a teenager it never worked, and now Im glad.. I get the occasional bumfluff on my cheeks but only every so often.

I couldnt even get hair to grow on my head like I should. I have a bald patch smack bang in the centre of my head that has been there since I was 13 so now I shave my head every 2 days with a bic razor!! Super smooth.. only I have a rather bumpy head sustained by the fat kid that smacked by head repeatedly off the shower bar at school to '' see if he was strong enough to crack my skull '' .. he wasn't .. Im glad to say!!

abraxus wrote:? is that you - dr. chew?

That's funny. Did you find that somewhere? If you did it yourself it was very quick. It is Niles' manlier brother though.

im afraid im responsible...thats why it looks a little patchy!

with hindsight, i should of taken a photo of my back and drawn a face on it...

From a girlies point of view, a hairy man is just fabulous. Proper blokes. That's what we want. None of this Metro-sexual bull crud.

Well, maybe it's just me....

Anaryn wrote:From a girlies point of view, a hairy man is just fabulous. Proper blokes. That's what we want. None of this Metro-sexual bull crud.

Well, maybe it's just me....

Well, in that one single statement, I suddenly feel happier