not sure where the scatology is from though?!).
Malachi 2:1-3 God threatens to smear faeces over the faces of disobedient Israelites. Bit different from God loves the world so much he sent his only son?
Lets have a look at some of the Biblical role models shall we;
Lot, the righteous man warned by God to leave Sodom behind, but his wife looked back and was thus turned into a pillar of salt (harsh?) So Lot went up out of Zo'ar and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him (Gen 19:30) these daughters thought they would never see a man again and decided to get their father drunk and have sex with him, twice, becoming pregnant. Now I know they were hiding in a cave because Lot was fearful of the people in nearby Zoar and I know his daughters thought they were the only people left on earth (Gen 19:31-33) So why did they they have to get Lot drunk? Wouldn't he have understood the wisdom of their plan to repopulate a devastated world?
Apologists insist that even tales of sexual impropriety in the Good Book serve as a moral lesson. I must confess that I have searched long and hard for one in this narrative and the only moral imperative I can detect is that if two daughters want to commit incest with their own father, the older one gets to go first! Mind you, his daughters might still have been mad at Lot for offering them, as virgins, to satisfy a mob of men intent on raping his male guests (Gen 19:6-8 ). Luckily his guests were angels who smote the mob and turned them blind, but didn't take Lot aside and say "you know you really shouldn't of offered up you daughters, not a good moral lesson for others you know"
While still on the subject of biblical incest lets start right at the beginning with the all time classic Genisis 4:16-17 and Cain's magically appearing wife. By starting at the beggining I'm assuming you don't buy into the whole world in seven literal days thing, thats just another one of those Bible things thats not to be taken literally right? I mean it happened and was true, but no one now thinks it happened in seven days right? Just like it says in II Timothy 3:16-17 'All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be compleate, equipped for every good work'
As long as he can work out whats to be taken literally, whats just a story, whats a vision or overly symbollic revelation. Wow, if I was a caring God that wanted to give an instruction manual to my creation, maybe I'd make it a little easier to understand so there would be less arguments between all these different Christian religions that have sprung up on 'their' interpretation, Even the 'inspired' translators can't agree such as the magical missing 'a' in John 1:1. I digress a little, lets talk about Noah;
Genesis 6:6-7 'And God felt regrets that he had made men in the earth' What's this, an all powerfull all knowing creator feeling regret, he must of known this was on the cards as he knows all things right? 'So God said (who to?) ' I am going to wipe men whom I have created off the surface of the ground, from man to domestic animal, to moving animal and to flying creatures of the heavens because I do regret that I made them' Now wait a minute, what had the animals done to deserve this? and if he regets making them why put the animals 'two by two' to be saved on a massive boat while a flood wipes out everything else? Why a flood, why not all the bad guys suddenly drop down dead, or are blinked out of existence Star Trek style? Wait, is this another one of those stories that didn't really happen but is designed to show one mans faith in times of adversity? That and Obay God or he does the Etchoskech end of the world and you all die. A massive ark for 'every living creature of every sort of flesh' come on, it would take the penguins ages to get there, unless they hitched a life on the back of a unicorn, the unicorns stayed behind though

Eddie Izzard performs a great sketch about Noah and the whole flood thing where the ducks won't get on the boat, when Noah says "but there's going to be a flood" the ducks reply "SO? instead of floating down here, we'll be floating up there"
But back to Noah, Noah found favour in the eyes of God and was a righteous man (Gen 6:8-9) Yet Noah gets blinding drunk, lays naked in his tent, then curses his son and his descendants into servitute for seeing him so, now thats a role model(Gen 9 18-29) I could go on about how there is more to this story than meets the eye, the embarassment of Noah lying naked in his own tent, revealing a people who were prudish in the extreme about nudity and, as seen through the nomadic eye, Noah's intoxication and peculiar behavior demonstrated his loss of self-control and modesty, something no good shepard would ever think of doing, yes I know, he who is without sin and all that, but do you not think that God made a poor choice in singling out Noah to survive the Deluge and to become a paragon of moral rectitude for all future humankind, for although he lived to the ripe old age of 950 , he was given to indulgence in strong drink and to immodesty, the winning choice for repopulating the entire world, I know, his sons helped too.
I think thats enough for now, I'll leave King David's adultery, murder and flashing till next time, that and the discrepancies in the biblical account of Jesus's heritage and how when King Herald or Phar'aoh commit infantacide it's bad, but when God tells Moses to do it, it's good.
I won't go into Leviticus 20:27 which gives the death penalty for 'wizards'
I'll finish with one of the Bible texts which reflect a sane, healthy and refrshingly hedonistic veiw on the subject of our brief span on this earth;
Ecclesiastes 4:11 'Again if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?