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I'm sure most of you will have seen my show, Jamie's School Dinners. It went quite well I think, but some of the kids just don't seem interested in eating healthy food. So for my new show I'd like to try to make healthy grub more interesting for them by mixing it with magic. It'll be called Jamie's Magic Dinners.

The problem is that I don't really know where to start, I've waved my magic wand a few times but nothing seems to happen. Any pointers from you good folk would be great.

Nice to see your speech impediment isn't apparent in written text! It gets really annoying on TV, sorry to tell you.

Well, Jamie... not too sure your characteristic 'cheeky chappy' persona would fit with Magic...

Perhaps you should contact Dynamo? He's equally as wooden when it comes to character, and I'm sure his coaches could sort you out.

You could be the 'Cheeky Magician'.

Mixing school dinners with magic is a bad idea. Not sure how much scope there is.

As for your wand—keep it firmly under wraps, ta.

Now... tell us how much wonga Sainsbury's ploughed at you to wear those dodgy wooly jumpers and sell second-rate produce. That would be puckka...

My written english used to be rubbish but it's amazing what writing a few books can do for it.

I like those jumpers, Jooles knitted them for me when she was stuck at home, preggers with the nippers.

You don't like my idea, I thought that reaching into a hat and pulling out a grilled monkfish with black olive sauce would be propper pukka.

Whatever next? Graham Kerr?

maybe you could have a turkey twizzler changing into a proper turkey leg?

Jamie Oliver wrote:You don't like my idea, I thought that reaching into a hat and pulling out a grilled monkfish with black olive sauce would be propper pukka.

Yeah... I guess that sounds pretty amazing. But would the kids appreciate black olive sauce? I know what you're grinding at, but the mediterranean pleasures of black olives with grilled fish can be a little offputting to an untrained palette.

On the flipside, what WOULD be pukka would be to pull a HAT out of a LIVE MONKFISH!!!

Wow... you may just be onto something there...

surely the ultimate in pukkah, would be to change say a sainsbury meat pie, into a mince beef and onion PUKKAH pie?

if you can manage it, can you sort me out Nigella Lawson as my assistant?

If jamie.. you could permanently change your accent / voice to one that was just slightly bearable.. then even I'd be impressed!!

Anyway, I'm having false leg of lamb for tea, and bicarbonate of chicken for afters... all in a Scotch sitting room.

Oh Mr Cutler, I do miss you!

Tomo wrote:Whatever next? Graham Kerr?

Actually, I think Jamie is Graham's long-lost brother... He changed his name to Jamie Oliver so nobody made the family connection, but apparently he still goes by his original name of Wayne to his family.

And if you could have been bothered to turn up to the charity book launch at where i was performing last week it would have been appreciated! Especially as the organisers had hung posters of you everywhere and the poor terminally ill kids were looking forward to meeting you!

I'm not joking...

Jamie Oliver wrote:I'm sure most of you will have seen my show, Jamie's School Dinners. It went quite well I think, but some of the kids just don't seem interested in eating healthy food. So for my new show I'd like to try to make healthy grub more interesting for them by mixing it with magic. It'll be called Jamie's Magic Dinners.

The problem is that I don't really know where to start, I've waved my magic wand a few times but nothing seems to happen. Any pointers from you good folk would be great.

Here are several routines I have envisioned that involve magic and healthy food:

1) Carrot to mouth - This is where a carrot is placed in the mouth and after several chews disappears

2) Peas to mouth - This is where some peas are placed in the mouth and after several chews disappears

3) apple to mouth - This is where some peas are placed in the mouth and after several chews disappears leaving just a core

As you can imagine these effects are all deeply mysterious and I'm sure will engage both the constipated, kebab eating kids and the constipated kebab eating general public

abraxus wrote:if you can manage it, can you sort me out Nigella Lawson as my assistant?

I'm not sure about Nigella but I might be able to manage Delia

I was quite into the whole "better school dinners" thing right up until he arrived at Downing Street in a black suit and grey shoes.

greedoniz wrote:3) apple to mouth - This is where some peas are placed in the mouth and after several chews disappears leaving just a core

Presumably you would just have an apple core hidden in the mouth and eat the peas without chewing the apple core.. fantastic transposition effect!!

Sorry was that exposure>>!??