talkmagic.co.uk

Seeing as everyone on here is an amateur compared to my intense talent, me, the inventor of SIGNED CARD TO COLOSTOMY BAG, VANISHING TURBAN and RISING CARD FROM FLUSHING TOILET, will be on hand to give any advice when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter collides with Mars.
Ask me any question you like and I will respond with unintelligable babble and a desperate free advert for my products.

Bless you all.

Do you sell a mat with a magnet in it? I have just won the lottery and am looking for a very expensive one.

Yes, it sell for $1200000000000 and features a cartoon Teletubby mentalist in the corner for that added authenticity as we all know that the aerials on a teletubby's head is a receptor for psychic powers.

Lord Freddie wrote:Yes, it sell for $1200000000000 and features a cartoon Teletubby mentalist in the corner for that added authenticity as we all know that the aerials on a teletubby's head is a receptor for psychic powers.

Ah shoot! I was only planning to spend $1199999999999. Oh well, thats life

subtle as a hangrenade in a jock-strap mr freddie.

magicdiscoman wrote:subtle as a hangrenade in a jock-strap mr freddie.

And every bit as funny.

Oh, come on. As if the image of a hand grenade in a jock strap doesn't evoke a chuckle or three...

Freddie please help! I need to stop a spectators watch and their pulse at the same time. Do you have anything that can do that?

donkeylord wrote:Freddie please help! I need to stop a spectators watch and their pulse at the same time. Do you have anything that can do that?

Man that's easy - simply point a shotgun at the watch (whilst the spec is still wearing it) - that's bound to have the desired effect .

Oh and make sure the gun is loaded and don't forget to pull the trigger .

donkeylord wrote:Freddie please help! I need to stop a spectators watch and their pulse at the same time. Do you have anything that can do that?

You must use psychotronobollox mental cognition techniques or my PSYCHOKINETIC TENNIS BALL which you can buy for only $1200 from my website. Also, my new CLINICALLY MENTAL MAT based on an old Fisher Price design will be available soon which can do all of this and peel a banana.

Does anyone know where I can buy a Bobo Switch from? I tried Homebase and Wickes but they only have normal switches and my local magic shop is out of stock!

I hate to challenge you Lord freddie, butI have yet to see any Card to effects that can rival both my card THRU intestinal system and Card to the hands of the unborn child ( revealed through ultra sound ).

I do like your Rising Card from flushing toilet.. someone tipped me the method but I will be buying it for the presentational ideas..I hear they are sh**

My card to Rectal Passage is almost complete, I just need to finalise the method if getting the spec to get the urge to take a dump right there on the spot.. i think I know how to acheive that.

Totally Mental wrote:Does anyone know where I can buy a Bobo Switch from? I tried Homebase and Wickes but they only have normal switches and my local magic shop is out of stock!

Only available from my 'wobsite' along with new improved card effect Khyber Pass.

I.D wrote:I hate to challenge you Lord freddie, butI have yet to see any Card to effects that can rival both my card THRU intestinal system and Card to the hands of the unborn child ( revealed through ultra sound ).

I do like your Rising Card from flushing toilet.. someone tipped me the method but I will be buying it for the presentational ideas..I hear they are sh**

My card to Rectal Passage is almost complete, I just need to finalise the method if getting the spec to get the urge to take a dump right there on the spot.. I think I know how to acheive that.

My new effect (only $1200) where spectators card appears sky at night. This can only be done with tarot cards and they have to choose 'The Moon' or 'The Star'. Includes mind reading magnet (with toy telephone)

yes thats all well and good but have u seen a man bend a signed coin by squeezing his testicles? this is the REAL superman coin bend but its a bit of a pain in the balls to set up.... sorry i had to make one bad joke at least today.... xD and im interested in purchasing something called the 'french drop' if anyone has it im willing to pay £10000 because i couldnt download it properly from http://www.pubtricks.com/video-pub-fdrop-trick.html as it looks unbelieveable.... xD

I NEED ADVICE

and I am told you can help..

My wife and I are not getting on, she disapproves of the lap dancer I had move in with us.. what can I do ??