talkmagic.co.uk

So there I was on Friday night, doing my usual strolling magic in a local bar, when I walked up to what looked like a normal, unassuming middle aged couple.

I took out 3 pound coins, and went to do my usual introduction. Before I'd even had chance to speak the bloke has taken 2 coins out of my hand and put them in his pocket, looked up at me and said 'I'm a surgeon. You've got 3 seconds to f:@k off before I cut your liver out.

ME: Nice to meet you too. Can I assume from that introduction that you don't want to see any magic

LOON: One

ME: One what?

LOON: Two

ME: Oh, I see, this is my warning before you operate on me?

LOON: Three

ME: I tell you what, just give me my coins back and I'll leave you in your own little world

LOON: What coins?

ME: The ones you've just put in your pocket. My coins.

LOON: No I didn't, did I love?

WIFE OF LOON: No

ME: You did. I saw you. Don't make me go in there and get them. You never know what I might grab (smiling)

LOON: Here they are. Hands me the coins. Now f&8k off out of my sight

WIFE OF LOON: Before you go though, why don't you astound us

ME: Ok. Does a VERY quick coin transposition

LOON: That was excellent. The Serbs weren't our enemy you know?

ME: No?

LOON: No it was all propaganda.

ME: Nothing surprises me any more

LOON: I cut slit your throat now and you wouldn't make a sound

ME: By then


Bonkers.

What the hell?
Some people...I even find it more interesting that you still performed...
Id run off

Good Lord...

Please do tell us the area you frequent, so we can all avoid it like the plague!

Earlier this year I was in Newquay. I was practicing a two-handed coin roll with two half-dollars whilst sat in a bar. I quite often do this, minding my own business with coins and cards.

I dropped one of the coins—from my left non-dom hand—and it bounced and tinkled across the floor. I leaned down and picked it up, and a bloke across the way (with a VERY broad northern accent) called "Now put those f*8ing coins away you poncy c**t and give us all some peace" (or words to that effect). It was the first time I'd dropped a coin, so I wasn't doing any harm.

Can I suggest that these freaks of nature are just jealous? Magic is something which meat-heads get very jealous of, I've decided.

Of course, to save a scene, I did so. And owing to the fact that the whole side of the pub where I'd been minding my own business was now staring at me, I tried to melt into the seat by continuing a convo with Mrs Seige and our chums.

Now... the coincidence here is that the bloke who kindly put a stop to my practice was with his 'missus' and was in his 50s. Actually, I *say* his missus... they were both equally as rough-as looking and to be honest I was quite happy to keep mum.

Mrs Seige was not impressed at the blokes public use of the 'c' word, and made sure she got her point across by quite loudly under-her-breath muttering "Well there's no need to use language like that in public", to which I told her quite simply to shut the fork up if we wanted to leave the place alive.

In short, I find the general anger of some people to be verging on the 'sanity' borderline. Right up to the point where a teenager (13-15yrs approx) offered my mum outside for a fight from her local newsagents—because they were swearing at the bloke behind the till for not selling them fags, and she told them not to be so rude. Idiotic.

I would have caused a scene. I use to be shy and timed and in that situation I would have ran away but now days I am an angry young man and would demand staisfaction.

My favourite loon was as follows:

I was in a pub doing some card tricks quietly in a corner of my missis's brothers local in coventry.
The young lad in a tracksuit and baseball cap sporting a lovely facial scar came over and asked if I would come over to his table and show some magic to him and his girlfriend.
I politely agreed and followed him over where he asked if he could show a magic trick first. Again I was polite and watched him do a layman type magic trick and commented that is was very good (it wasn't).

Anyway I took the cards back and preceded to do the biddle trick. I got to the point where I was putting piles of cards on his hand when he sudenly just threw them all over the table, sat down and just chatted to his girlfriend and never again acknowledged I was there.
I just gathered up my cards from the table and floor and walked off very confused.

The weirdest thing that happened to me was when i was doing a couple of simple impromptu tricks to my friends in the streets...
I had a couple of spoons on my pocket as i had been doing a couple of bends earlier that afternoon so i took them out.
I started with a simple one and my friends were impressed(by now a couple of strangers had stoped and started watching.
At that moment I did the one(sorry i dont know if it has a particular name to it)where you hold the tip of the spoon and the bowl on the end started moving.
My friends were screaming about and saying thats impossible and stuf like that.
then a man in his fifties came out of the crowd(it wasnt a crowd but it was nearly there) and the spoon and sayd:"Thats all bulls*it and started freneticly bending the spoon back and forth!
A few secounds later he threw the spoon to the other side of the road and walked away as if nothing had happened...

There was a weird silence after that...

There are a lot of sociopaths out there. More than you think.