Men are happier people because .......

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Men are happier people because .......

Postby moonbeam » Jan 11th, '08, 12:09



WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men are just happier people because:



Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks and engines.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes - one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.



No wonder us men are happier :roll: :wink: .

QUESTION:
If we can sue McDonalds for making us fat and cigarette companies for giving us cancer; why can't we sue Smirnoff for all the ugly gits we've sh*gged ??
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Postby Sophie » Jan 11th, '08, 12:17

Then...I wish I was a man :wink:

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Postby Lady of Mystery » Jan 11th, '08, 12:41

nah you don't. You'd have to put up with chewed down finger nails, living on microwave food (yuck!) and a mens section in the clothes shop consisting of about 3 rails.

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Postby Sophie » Jan 11th, '08, 13:05

I have to confess...I do like lots of clothes :D

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Postby Adrian Morgan » Jan 11th, '08, 14:33

The list is, of course, completely silly. (Know something about tanks and engines? Yerright.)

But be that as it may, the bottom line is this. If you want to turn me into a woman, fine, but you have to promise to turn me back before the end of the show. :lol:

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Postby Mandrake » Jan 11th, '08, 15:16

Another reason to celebrate being male - none of that awful and painful waxing. (And if anyone mentions a 'Brazilian' I'll reepeat that old G.W.Bush joke again!.....)

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Postby Lady of Mystery » Jan 11th, '08, 16:26

Ah a wax isn't that bad at all, you men are just big wimps.

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Postby IAIN » Jan 11th, '08, 16:27

the best thing about being a man is that you're not a woman...awful creatures...only kidding lomster...you're a good lad...

I'm confused now :? :)

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Postby Mandrake » Jan 11th, '08, 16:30

Lady of Mystery wrote:you men are just big wimps.
Correction, big hairy wimps...

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Postby lmw » Jan 11th, '08, 17:16

Mandrake wrote:Correction, big hairy wimps...

Speak for yourself for me it's

big - was hairy once - wimp

you know what they say you know you're losing your hair when you can no longer clean your fingernails when you shampoo :lol:

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Postby Mandrake » Jan 11th, '08, 17:38

Who said anything about hairy heads :wink: ? You know you're getting old when it stops growing on your head and starts growing out of your ears and nostrils...... :cry:

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Postby lmw » Jan 11th, '08, 17:41

I'm sure you noticed I didn't mention "heads" either :wink:

Just call me Al....Mr O'peesha to the bank manager of course!

P.S. To be honest I'm not bald the tide is just going out...

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Postby Mandrake » Jan 11th, '08, 17:53

Other excuses for permanently wearing a pink wig:

a) I'm not bald, it's a solar panel for a sex machine.

and my personal favourite which I use all the time:

b) The good Lord made only a few perfect heads, the rest he had to cover in hair.

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Postby Lawrence » Jan 11th, '08, 18:01

Mandrake wrote:Another reason to celebrate being male - none of that awful and painful waxing. (And if anyone mentions a 'Brazilian' I'll reepeat that old G.W.Bush joke again!.....)


I wouldn't say "none"...

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Postby Mandrake » Jan 11th, '08, 18:05

Please, no details, I haven't eaten yet...

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