talkmagic.co.uk

Back to the main point. A magician defines themselves as a magician. Not the same for a plummer or banker. That is what they do. A magician or entertainer defines themselves as such even if they are just arm chair magicians and all that is really done is sit in front of the TV practicing the pass until they can fool themselves. And that can become a problem.
Every now and again its good to step away.

greedoniz wrote:I see marriage as the bloke admitting defeat...kids even more so. At that point he ceases to be a man and becomes whipped.
Imagine all the beer, holidays, gadgets and adventures you could have instead with the money wasted on those dribbling little nightmares (the kids not the missis)

I suppose the marriage bit comes so that the couple have a day to talk about for a few months as all other avenues have been exhausted.
At that point the kid/s have arrived and therefore you can talk through them or about them for quite a few years until they leave home at which point you quit talking altogether and just attempt to exchange pleasantries until one keels over and you are free but at that point you are too immobile to act on all those things you wanted to do with your life. Spending your last days both alone (as the ungrateful kids have their own lives to live) and unfulfilled.

Bloody hell Greedo I'm heading out tonight on the lash then a full wedding tomorrow. Your gonna have me hiding in the corner away from all the girls. Screaming and running in the opposite direction if one of them looks at me.

greedoniz wrote:lol funnily enough I'm in a cracking relationship/love of my life, gooey gooey etc and have been for over three years.
It doesnt change the facts though that this is the story arc of probably the majority of people

you said we had to keep our love quiet!

i see getting engaged as just breathing space for a year or so, while you try to think up other excuses as to why you dont need to get married...

it is a waste of time, come on now...be fair...its all about the woman too, the day she becomes that little princess that she's always been in her head - lalalalala - flowers, dresses, everyone giving her attention...

the bloke just wears the same as all the other blokes, and says yes when she kicks him...pretty much like married life i'd imagine...

i very nearly did that whole marriage thing at 19...19! what was i thinking...

oh and again at 23....and....nearly got engaged at 28...

but apart from that - ignore those puppy dog eyes and foxy suspenders, and stay living together, that's what i say...

marriage, much like a penny farthing is an outdated idea, and you wouldnt catch me buying a top hat for either...

each to their own, but i'd rather spend the 10 grand or more on having prolonged bouts of fun...

All magicians are twisted freaks..they live in a bubble and are prone to psychotic episodes.i once chopped a lady in half it wasnt a trick it was a personality disorder.have to go now there after me with the butterfly nets.

greedoniz wrote: those dribbling little nightmares

I know it's an awful vomit inducing cliche, but there really is no feeling in the world like holding your own child in your arms. It really eclipses all emotions that you may have experienced up to that point. And it sure whups the ass of any gadget or beer. Trust me.

When people say that they never want kids, that they're "too selfish" to have kids (that was the one I always used thinking that it sounded clever), or that they just want to have fun and not be tied down, it just means that they're not ready to have kids yet. A bit like the student waiting outside buddha's home. They'll be let in when they're ready.

After all, do you really want to reach middle age and have nothing more important to think about than beer and gadgets? One sees men like that wandering around town on a Saturday afternoon desperately trying to fill the void in their life with a Wii. It's not healthy.

I think I can very honestly say that I would rather spend the time and money on travelling to far flung corners of the world and trying new and adventurous things than spend my time cleaning up after one of those things.
I have absolutely no doubt that ones biology kicks in when you hold your kids in your arms as it is in ones DNA to love your child. Saying that though a study into happiness that I read showed that although having a child made the individual very happy, the stress and worry that also comes with it actually was greater.
If I had a choice of staying at home cleaning up after a kid or canoeing down the amazon I know which one would leave me more fulfilled as a life experience.
I certainly do appreciate that men who have already have children cannot look at this subjectively as their overwhelming feelings towards their "although thousands are plopped out everyday but mines very special" bundle means that they obviously wouldn't change it for the world.
It is something i hope to avoid at all costs. Why do you think I keep that wire coat hanger ready in the drawer?

With that attitude kids are clearly not for you. Your biology kicks you around the world. You talk of the wonders of canoing down the amazon, but its probably just your biology that kicked you there in order to find a tribe of women ready to mate.

Changing nappies is less fun than canoing, but from another perspective canoing on your own with some temporary friends dreaming about a tribes of women is rather empty. "Having fun" leads to nothing. Work is less fun, but ALL great achievements require a mixture of fun and hard work. To support your wife and help her create a well functioning family requires besides all the fun also hard work and sacrifices. But its worth it.

As comparison I am sure you will find that canoing with your kids is a completely different experience than canoing on your own. Not a fundamentally lonely experience, but a truly shared and meaningful experience that put the earlier nappy changing in perspective.


Anyway enjoy canoing is long as it make sense

I'm reminded of a scene from When Harry Met Sally (and I paraphrase awfully) when Sally realises that her relationship is shallow and she wanted children:

"We always boasted that we didn't want kids. We would laugh at our friends with their diapers and buggies. We were free and could do what we wanted. We could fly off to Paris at a moment's notice and make love on the kitchen floor whenever we wanted. Trouble was, we never did fly off to Paris, and the kitchen floor? Cold and bumpy."

themagicwand wrote:I'm reminded of a scene from When Harry Met Sally (and I paraphrase awfully) when Sally realises that her relationship is shallow and she wanted children:

"We always boasted that we didn't want kids. We would laugh at our friends with their diapers and buggies. We were free and could do what we wanted. We could fly off to Paris at a moment's notice and make love on the kitchen floor whenever we wanted. Trouble was, we never did fly off to Paris, and the kitchen floor? Cold and bumpy."

To add my 2 pence, I'd like to point out that I don't have kids and can (and do) do exactly what I want. I don't just dream about it like your quote illustrates. I've volunteered in Greece, learnt to ride a motorbike, become an ambulance technician, learnt several languages and enjoyed last minute trips to places all over the country. I also volunteer for lots of local charities. I wouldnt have done most of these if I had children.

From an ecological point of view (which I did a foundation degree on) I believe that the world is already over-populated. I don't begrudge other people having children, but I don't think it should be expected that all people should have children.

From a biological point of view, I'm not the healthiest of people and I don't think its particularly fair to pass serious genetic defects onto my children.