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by **IAIN** » Jun 18th, '08, 20:01

chuck norris is sooooooo ginger that dulux had to invent a new colour chart just to visually describe his bum-hair...

he is also twinned with the city of birmingham...

and he once kicked a man so hard he turned into a lady...

by **seige** » Jun 18th, '08, 20:13

Chuck Norris (pron. Chuk Nor-ess)
1. Unbeatable, unbreakable (see 'Steel', specifically 'Balls of:')

2. Without flaw or weakness (see 'Achilles Heel', lack of)

3. Unfaltering, solid in foundation (see 'Brick Privvy')

4. Strong in battle, valiant and courageous victor (see 'I'll hold yer coat' then 'Hospital food', 'Drinking through a straw for the rest of your life')

5. Unflinching, feels no pain (see also 'Hard-as-nails')

by **Wills** » Jun 19th, '08, 10:26

Chuck Norris went onto the Wheel of Fortune one night and Chuck got first spin.......

.......they spent the next 1/2 hour watching the wheel go round

by **Magic1Jim** » Jun 19th, '08, 13:22

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

by **Magic1Jim** » Jun 19th, '08, 13:25

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

by **Lawrence** » Jun 19th, '08, 13:32

Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor

by **bmat** » Jun 19th, '08, 14:37

Chuck Norris doesn't have to perform an elmsley count. He just looks at the cards and they count themselves.

by **babyshanks** » Jun 19th, '08, 20:19

Chuck Norris once used his own head as a final load to his cups and balls routine.

by **Beardy** » Jun 19th, '08, 21:55

babyshanks wrote:Chuck Norris once used his own head as a final load to his cups and balls routine.

Chuck Norris once used his own balls in a cups and balls routine...and still had enough of them left over!

by **seige** » Jun 19th, '08, 22:10

Chuck shot the sheriff, but he didn't kill the deputy.

(The deputy in fact took his own life, fearful that he was next on Chuck's list)

by **greedoniz** » Jun 19th, '08, 22:58

Chuck Norris' chest hair is made of kevlar and therefore is bulletproof

by **Replicant** » Jun 20th, '08, 06:48

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

by **seige** » Jun 20th, '08, 06:50

In the beginning, God created heaven & earth.

But a few moments previous, Chuck Norris created God.

by **Magic1Jim** » Jun 20th, '08, 10:39

One time while sparring with a bear, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

by **Replicant** » Jun 20th, '08, 10:52

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

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