talkmagic.co.uk

...by one of those really anoying people who try to sign you up for a direct debit to give money to a charity.

Now normally I'm all for charity but I really get a bee in my bonnet about these people.

I was walking through town doing a little window shopping when a guy in a badly fitting Help the Aged top homes in on me. 'No thanks, I'm not interested' I tell him as he launches into his speel. Does that work, don't be silly, so again I say no thanks and turn to walk off. Now he's trotting along at my shoulder asking me how I'd feel if my Granny was broken into or couldn't afford her heating bills. Again I tell him that I'm not interested, not quite as politely this time. I just couldn't shake him off, the whole length of the high street he was trotting along beside me.

Now I wouldn't mind so much if these people actually did work for the charity but they're not. They work for an agency and earn a commission based on how many people they can sign up.

Aggg they just make me soooooo angry!!!!

****and breath......****

to be honest lomster - he probably fancied you...

i was once asked by one of those guys to stop giving to my current set of charities and give to his one instead. I have a massive problem with those people...

a) they're on eight quid an hour easy
b) they dont actually care about the charity
c) im not giving out my details in a street
d) i hate the majority of people anyway
e) there is no e

these days, i just say "no thanks..." and thats their first and final warning. After that, out comes the tourettes.

"have you got a website? I'll donate that way instead..thanks.." is the very best lie i tell those people. Interestingly, it actually makes me NOT want to give to any charity when i see these "people".

a) Threaten to call the Police and have him arrested for harassment - or worse!
b) If he has a licence to collect, ask to see it, grab it and chuck it under a passing car/lorry/bus - then walk away.
c) Ask to see one of the forms, take out your pen and write something very rude across it in big letters.
d) Tell him you already work for whichever charity he's pestering you about.
e) Start screaming at the top of your voice that you're not that kind of girl and does his wife/girlfriend/mother know he's accosting women in the street?

I hate the Chuggers (CHarity mUGGERS) too, and thanks to some headphones (Not usually plugged into anything), I feel less guilty by completely blanking them. Obviously by wearing headphones I "Must" be listening to something, and maybe "didn't hear them". I call them my Social Armour...

If it's a man, run into a lingerie shop. If it's a woman, a sex shop. Ifneither is available, just run into any small shop (small ones are best) and ask in a loud voice for the shop assistant to call the police...

It's also worth calling your local council's Trading Standards office (the number will be on the web site) and telling them about it.

If none of these suggestions work just knee him in the nuts and claim self defence.

i've been tempted to fake some kind of seizure..see how they react...they may not be so charitable under fire...

Could be risky if the pest knows CPR and starts doing mouth to mouth resuscitation!

I got stopped by one recently who was working 'on behalf of' some environmental charity. I had some time to waste while I waited for some friends and was pretty confident that I was more intelligent and better informed than she was so I argued with her for 15 minutes. I think I did quite well and presented counter evidence for every environmental concern she presented and managed to get her to contradict herself several times. After that I thanked her, shook her hand and left her looking slightly bemused standing outside the coffee shop.

We had fun watching her decide who to pick on for the nest hour or so after that. The worrying thing is that I'm quite in favour of some of the things she was talking about, I just can't stand being accosted on the street and guilt tripped into handing over my savings.

Mandrake wrote:If none of these suggestions work just knee him in the nuts and claim self defence.

Now that's an idea that I like

I think it's a shame that as Iain said, I think too that they put people off giving to any charity. I'd happily pop some change into a tin but I really don't need to be hastled when I'm just taking a walk during my lunch brake.

I think charity giving is a personal thing, for me - i have to weigh up everything before i decide to give my hard earned cash away...so i give to two that are personal to me...

and the other two i did for fun, was - sponsor a dog, cos i liked the look of the creature that i picked. Fully aware that he's probably dead and in a glue tin somewhere. But i don't care - i enjoyed getting birthday cards from the imaginary dog, with his paw print in it.

the other is i've adopted a family of chimps for a year - only twenty quid a year - from wipsnade zoo - i love chimps, you get a free ticket to go there, a big glossy photo and a fake adoption certificate.

i know those two are nonsense in some respects - but i kinda admire it just for that reason.

Chuggers - zero tolerance.

And how do you mess with the Mormons?

"Can I see some ID, please?"
"Why?"
"Well, how do I know you're real Mormons? You could be gathering souls to sell on the Internet."

If they can't provide ID, tell them you're reporting them. Whatever they say (probably that they don't need a licence to do "God's work") still insist this is what you're off to do right now. If they do produce ID, next time you meet them, you can hot read them and prove you're more powerful than their God. They never, ever remember you.

IAIN wrote:the other is i've adopted a family of chimps for a year - only twenty quid a year - from wipsnade zoo - i love chimps, you get a free ticket to go there, a big glossy photo and a fake adoption certificate.

I once nearly adopted a polar bear, but I was worried he might turn up on my doorstep during his gap year looking for somewhere to crash.

Of course we're all forgetting the obvious - use magic! Whip out your trusty deck of Bikes and insist they pick a card, any card. Use Tarot if you like, give them the evil eye and forecast doom and disaster in their immediate future, and if there's any chance to set off a sheet or two of flash paper it would be a bonus.

I always tell them that I'm a social Darwinist and that charity degrades the human gene pool and that it's putting the future genetic health of the human race under jeopardy.
They rarely ever follow for long after that.