talkmagic.co.uk

What's red and white and stands on the side of the road?

A hitch hiking fridge wearing a superman cape.

Now then.

What's red and fluffy?


Red fluff.

Oh my word! I'll be adding that to my repertoire! Hee hee hee.

Lenoir wrote:What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick knife

See I always thought that was the Financial Times Crossword...

Why did the Red Rooster cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

* normlly that would just be a chicken - but you see I wasn't sure wether red was a manadatory part of this thread - so I thought I would pay it safe.

kolm wrote:I dare Tomo to write that on the back of edition 2.

Tee hee. I'm shocked to say that it'll actually be book three if I ever get enough time to finish it, and it'll be a very different animal to the previous two volumes. As well as presenting more Naked effects, I wanted to make something containing a comprehensive guide to techniques that exploit subtle quirks in the way humans evaluate situations, thereby making the whole thing applicable to both magic and mentalism. These techniques form the large proportion of the content and my big worry is that it'll turn into a conman's manual because some are open to a very wide range of easy uses in other fields.


Q: What's black and white, has four legs and goes "Booooooo!" a lot.

A: A cow with a cold.

What's green, has eight legs, and will kill you if it drops on you from out of a tree?

A snooker table.

Gary Dickson wrote:

What's red and fluffy?


Red fluff.

Oh my word! I'll be adding that to my repertoire! Hee hee hee.

In that case, you're gonna love these beauties...

What's green and fluffy?


Green fluff.



What's blue and fluffy?











Cold red fluff.

As we've gone off the Red, what's yellow and white and travels at 125 mph? A Train driver's egg sandwich. OK, coat, hat, door....

Mandrake wrote:As we've gone off the Red, what's yellow and white and travels at 125 mph? A Train driver's egg sandwich. OK, coat, hat, door....

Now look here. It would have been quite easy to have had him eating a BLT - and then you could have used brown, white, green and RED!

come on dear chap. play the game!

so with that in mind

Q: What is red and hairy and goes up and down?
A: A strawberry in a lift
(ok, so I lied about the hairy bit - or did I?)

This one's really offensive, so if it gets removed I'll completely understand (but it is only a joke!). If you're easily offended, skip to the next post!

What's red, wet, mushy and sits in the corner of a chip shop?









Abortion of chips! (Don't say I didn't warn you!)

This one's probably less offensive:

What's big and red and lies in the middle of the road?







A dead bus.

Less offensive, and less funny too. Oh well

Tomo wrote:

kolm wrote:I dare Tomo to write that on the back of edition 2.

Tee hee. I'm shocked to say that it'll actually be book three if I ever get enough time to finish it

My offer of a pint for all three books for a pint still stands

I'll raise that offer to a pint and a bag of pork scratchings.

I saw a dead baby ghost once. Well, I thought it was. Turned out it was a hanky.

Looking forward to details about book three, Jono. I've the first book but haven't really put it to use yet.

Mr_Grue wrote:I saw a dead baby ghost once. Well, I thought it was. Turned out it was a hanky.

I thought a baby ghost was a condom.

Here's one... <holds up hand with fingers spread>. What's that?

No Sooty


I'll get me coat...

Gary Dickson wrote:This one's really offensive, so if it gets removed I'll completely understand (but it is only a joke!). If you're easily offended, skip to the next post!

What's red, wet, mushy and sits in the corner of a chip shop?









Abortion of chips! (Don't say I didn't warn you!)

I was more offended by how bad the second joke was!!! I may sue!