talkmagic.co.uk

taxpeople are the best magician's they can take your money before youv'e ern't it.

a magician walked into a bar, "sod it he" said, i must remember to move that thing.

how manty magician's does it take to change a light bulb?, depends on what you change it into.

Ok a man (erm...used to be a magician) joins a monastry and the abbot tells him he can only say two words each year.
The first year the man thinks hard and at the end of the year says, "Bed Hard."
At the end of the second year after a lot of thinking he says, "Food Bad."
At the end of the third year, he goes to the abbot and says, "Me Go."
The Abbot says, "Thank Christ for that. Since you got here you've done nothing but complain."

p.s -

Real Madrid 3, Surreal Madrid fish

Like It!!

What do you get when you put a Nun in a blender?

Twisted Sister...

Why do people take an instant dislike to table hoppers?

It saves them time in the long run.......

A man goes into a petshop - He says, 'I'd like to buy a wasp please.'
The shopkeeper says, 'Sorry Sir, but we don't sell wasps.' Man says, 'But you've got one in the window!!'


I got on a train the other day and sat next to a young woman reading a book called Sex Statistics. 'Any good?' I asked. 'Fascinating. American Indians have the widest manhood and Polish men the longest. By the way, I'm Jane.' 'Hi', I replied, 'I'm Tonto Polanski.'


My back's killing me. I've strained it. I was playing piggy-back, with my little boy, and I fell off.

They Are Like The Man Himself - Almost Magic Jokes

I slept like a log- I woke up in the fireplace
I've got the best wife in England- The other one's in Spain
Isn't technology great- Wherever they put a petrol pump they find petrol!

All Tommy Cooper classics!!

bananafish wrote:I went to see some Chinese magicians. Two hours later I wanted to see them again.

^wins the thread.

got it on some website awhile ago:


A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.

The bartender asks "He can drink?"

"Oh, sure. He can drink."

So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.

"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"

The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.

The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"

The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that magician you made fun of!

Pcwizme wrote:Did you hear that Uri Geller has died





He rubbed his neck and his head fell off!!

I wonder how he got through puberty...

Why did the spiritualist cross the road?
To get to the other side.

Sign on Spirtualist's Front Door:

All callers please ring the bell,
knocking only confuses the hell out of me....