talkmagic.co.uk

Yep, that's right THE CARDISTRY EPICENTRE is what Theory 11 are now calling their web site. But wht does it mean?

Seeing as we've not had a competition for a while now, you've got up to 30 words to write some humerous and/or satirical marketing blurb to accompany this tosh.

The winner gets a £10 gift voucher to spend at Mike Danatas Magic Studio and I'll ask Mandrake to judge the winner. His decision is final and I'll pay for the gift voucher and provide Mike with your name and details by email after the competition ends on midnight, Friday 27 March 2009.

The gift voucher must be redeemed against a purchase within eight weeks and cannot exchanged in full or in part for cash.

Sorry but on this occasion it's a UK only winner due to postage costs but you can still submit an entry if you wish to, just for a laugh. Minimum 100 posts to enter.

"At least we're not Ellusionist"

is that a comment or an entry?

dat8962 wrote:is that a comment or an entry?

It's an entry and, IMHO, a damn good one! Mainly because I need £10! When does the competition close? Isn't it right about now when no-one else has entered? 27th March is too far off!

dat8962 wrote:Yep, that's right THE CARDISTRY EPICENTRE is what Theory 11 are now calling their web site. But wht does it mean?

The Cardistry Epicentre - Y?... Herd enterprise tactic.

"Because Theory11 wasn't a bad enough name already"

"Now our name is as pretentious as our magic!"

"Don't know what the word epicentre means? You're just the sort of magician we need!"

"If the copyright has expired it's fair game"

"Reselling ideas since 2003"

"The cardistry epicentre! For all your card needs! And coins. And pointless gimmicks. All available on DVD!"

"The most fun you can have using your hands, without the side effect of hairy palms!"

Memo: New marketing blurb for teh 'About Us' page on teh redesigned website. Note - we MUST get 'elite' in there somewhere. kthxbye.
---

Pioneered (and/or guided, we're not quite sure which at the moment) by some of the (best/most creative/elite/ground-breaking) people in the magic industry, theory11 is the definitive source for the oldest magic tricks on the block; eXxXtreme instructional magic DVDs (that are guaranteed to keep you in your bedroom and away from an audience forever); and by far the most rRradical playing cards never seen by a paying crowd. You won't find these products anywhere else*.

Every product you see on theory11 is produced** in-house by our elite team of industry-leading performers, creators, editors***, and producers.

* Apart from in very old books written/edited by Hugard and co., available now from Amazon for about £8/$6.

** Studiously studied and transcribed from ancient texts dating as far back as 1942.

*** Although our 'elite' editors were on vacation when we wrote the copy for our website. As a result, we used a possessive apostrophe in "DVD's"; a comma between the penultimate item in a list and the final one (e.g. "editors, and producers"); and committed myriad other grammatical offenses that we won't go into right now.

The Cardistry epicente where all effects must be named by a single exciting sounding word.

New effects Coming soon:

Plagiarize
Sasquatch
Volcano

Pointless, Overpriced limited edition decks with every order!

The Hugard and Brau appreciation society.

The anti-actually-presenting-your-effects-in-a-way-that-appeals-to-anyone league.

Look it's 'dark' and 'gritty', it must be good!

Every penny helps.

Cardistry Epicenter Home Page

Go ahead, Raise your hand if you're completely amazed by the works of
our time's true professional: Criss Angel! Wait, that's a stupid question,
this should be second nature to you, everyone should have their hand up!
Heaven help you If you don't raise your hand.

Real magicians like us over here on Theory 11, you ejoy such works of Criss Angel and undoubtedly also enjoy people such as David Blaine, and one day:
“Please Insert Your Name Here”
Undeniably, this is your dream. If so, than you'll love our new must buy work. This will be released on a secret date at midnight we have our staff coordinating a date and eventually, your life will be consumed constantly by racing to your computer to check. Racing back and forth should not consume your life (But honestly, we believe that your time wouldn’t be better spent anyways so…no real loss.) We will give you a hint so that you can better spend your your time. (Yah right…) between the times 4 a.m. and 5 a.m. and through the dates "March 20-April 1". If you order on the right date, you’ll be able to learn faster with our instant download limited time. *Just pay shipping and Handling*

Reaching and preceeding April First however, our new dvd will no longer be offered to everyone who don't love us enough to get up at the crack of dawn racing to our rather awesome website for the DVD release of the century! Our highly staff has toiled from dusk until dawn for yearsand years to bring you this incredible release. We really want you to learn this right away and our instant download is the perfect oppurtunity!

What though is the dvd?

DVD:

Oh My God

This includes such tricks and is limited to:
The Floating Styrofoam Cup!

How much would you pay for a set like this? I'd pay $60 for a dvd such as this. Now for %50 off you can get this 2hr 2 DVD instructional media for $30! If you think that's a typo...it's not! $30!!!! Plus, shipping and handling…


So run to your mom and hold your breath until she gives you thirty dollars, run back to your computer and BUY! BUY! BUY!!!

(this would've been a lot funnier if this darn thing worked. I spen the past 45 minutes typing this out into a perfect acrostic(?) of "Go Thru puberty already" which is directed at the ellusionist clients not anyone on this forum ... Ah well this is still pretty good I think!)

30 words of less Ian?

THE CARDISTRY EPICENTRE - Means it's the plum centre.

(Spelling mistake 100% intentional.)

Thought that I'd give it a bash although my entry is of course inelligible

The interstellar centre for the deft weaving of thin pasteboards. Intricately designed and bought to you to combat and counteract the difficulty in sensibly purveying thick stiff paper.

If this has gone over your head – you need Theory 11.

P.S. I know it's over 30 words so I've scrapped that rule

THE CARDISTRY EPICENTRE

Come see our deals on,

Monetary manipulation prerogatives.

Foam based misdirection presentations.

Psychological independently working artifacts.

Remember our motto 'You don't need to spend time to be good, just money.'

THE CARDISTRY EPICENTRE

Because now we're classy whores.