talkmagic.co.uk

well

what an emotional rollercoaster

as some of you may or may not know, im adopted by my dad

all my life iv always wondered about my biological father, but obviously love my dad and know him as my dad, because he is who has raised me for most of my life, even if it isn't all

now, iv been crapping myself

i received a facebook e-mail out of the blue from somebody claiming to be my real dad

i am now awaiting a phonecall from my mum. I haven't told her what it is, but have told her it is important

after the tears, im now completely confused

why on earth did he have to make contact? I was completely happy with my life

now it's just complicated

im so confused!

If this is a serious post PM as I found out who my bio dad was last August so I know exactley what you are going through.

Also there is a company in Canada (Allot Cheaper) that do DNA tests and it takes about 3 weeks and you get an email back to let you know the exact possiblity that he is your father.....the hardest bit is yet to come..

But Yes the tears is horrible but it is better to know.

Sorry if I am bit concerned but I am opening myself to allot of pain again but if it helps others then I am happy to help.

Work out what is best for you and go with that. Don't allow yourself to be talked into doing what's best for others.

I hope thatthings work out for you and that you find some resolution to this matter.

Heis biologically my dad. No DNA test needed, there is no doubt

it's just an emotional rollercoaster right now is all

dat8962 wrote:Work out what is best for you and go with that. Don't allow yourself to be talked into doing what's best for others.

This. It's your life, do what you want.

Yep but dont make your decision to hasty....I visit my bio dad and my step dad (hus been there since i was 2 weeks old) in my opinion i feel allot better now that i know.

Blapsing_Beard wrote:Heis biologically my dad. No DNA test needed, there is no doubt

it's just an emotional rollercoaster right now is all

Ah so you just have not seen him for a very long time....well you might get on really well with him...your and adult he is an adult maybe he wants to make up for not ebing around.

For 20 years? He hasn't ever bothered to even try to make contact. I know this for a fact.

Now, all of a sudden, that I am legally an adult, he wouldn't have to pay maintenence...now he wants to make contact?

He is probably just trying to clear a conscience

Ahh right.....like the other have said it is upto you.....


Sometimes as wron as teh other person has been you jsut got to forgive but only you can make the choice.

Meeting my dad after 18 years was the best thing ever but for you it is very different, I hope it all turns out for the best.

lots of thinking insues, I believe

Hope it all works itself out. No hasty decisions. Take all the time in the world to figure out what it is you really want. Knee jerk reactions are rarely the correct ones.

I have two friends who were adopted. One got tremendous benefit from meeting his biological parents as an adult. The other got nothing from the experience, and cut off all contact. You won't know until you meet with him and talk to him.
If you decide that contact is good, remember that it does not in any way lessen what you feel for your adoptive dad and what he feels for you. That is a real bond.
And if you decide that contact is not good, then don't waste your time with guilt. You didn't walk out on him. He walked out on you.
Take your time making your decision, and make the decision that is right for you, not for him. All the best with it. Tony.

your real dad is the person that you feel emotionally connected too - doesnt matter who spawned you chris...anyone can do that...a real dad is one who loves and cares for you...

walks like a duck, talks like a duck...it is a duck...

I'm not saying your dad is a duck...

good luck...fine to be curious and want answers...there's no rules, and really, you shouldnt be asking on a forum..go talk to your dad, and involve him too - cos he'll feel weird and shocked too i bet...

I would remember that the ball is in your side of the court & try not to rush the decision. If he's taken 20 years to make contact I'm sure you would agree that taking time to weigh up how you feel rather than jump straight in is the way to go.

Good luck with however it goes.
Russ

Introduce some competition.

If you like, I'll claim I'm your dad too.

But only if I can call you Luke.