talkmagic.co.uk

I saw the Darwin fish with feet on the back of a car and it made me chuckle. It's actually a very clever parody. So there.

When you become a parent, you want to shout your news to the world. You don't realise how amazing babies and children are until you become a parent, and there's a definite burning need to tell everyone about the most profound experience in your life. With a megaphone. Rigged to Manowar's stage sound system. So car stickers are quite a subtle alternative. Be thankful!

Only one thing has genuinely peed me off this week. I was driving behind a cyclist on my way to a gig at the weekend. It was a winding country road, I couldn't see what was coming in the other direction, but I had plenty of time and took it slow, keeping my distance so as not to freak out the cyclist... I'm there for a good five minutes or so. No cars are behind me to intimidate me, I've got the stereo on, it's a lovely day, and I'm chilled. Suddenly, the cyclist looks ahead of him, round a bend, looks back at me and waves me on. I pull out... just as another car comes whizzing round the bend towards me, making full use of the National Speed Limit. I swerved and broke and nearly ended up in a farm wall, but both me, the car and the cyclist were fine.

That irked me somewhat.

Talking of car signs, a pet hate of mine is the "If you can read this, you are driving too close" one.

In order to read the damn thing i got up so close, I nearly caused an accident. Now that would have been ironic wouldn't it?

Another pet hate is people mis-using ironic. (which is ironic really).

or is it?

Ian The Magic-Ian wrote:I even hate the ones that say darwin and have feet or the ones that say satan and have horns. (No bingo)

Above all of those the ones I dislike the most are the fish that say darwin being eaten by a much larger fish that says truth. That's just beyond...grrrr.

Just venting. (there's a lot of bingo in this post I know)

People who consistently post "no bingo" after every other sentence need a good kicking.

Replicant wrote:

Ian The Magic-Ian wrote:I even hate the ones that say darwin and have feet or the ones that say satan and have horns. (No bingo)

Above all of those the ones I dislike the most are the fish that say darwin being eaten by a much larger fish that says truth. That's just beyond...grrrr.

Just venting. (there's a lot of bingo in this post I know)

People who consistently post "no bingo" after every other sentence need a good kicking.

No, I am not going to bingo that. Too obvious. Too obvious!

TV adverts that use actors pretending to be the normal person in the street. They seem to believe that putting lots of "erms" and "yeahs" into each sentence makes them sound "normal". Why don't the advertisers just use "real" people in the first instance??

themagicwand wrote:TV adverts that use actors pretending to be the normal person in the street. They seem to believe that putting lots of "erms" and "yeahs" into each sentence makes them sound "normal". Why don't the advertisers just use "real" people in the first instance??

On the subject of adverts: all of them annoy me, but that Barclays one with the dancing safes is an insult.

So as everyone's moaning about stuff they don't like can I now have my say about Argos or will it just get deleted again? And if it is deleted can I please have a PM this time to explain why it's worse than many other similar posts?


Dear Argos Home Delivery Service,

I think you'll find that 4.30pm is not "between 7am and 1pm".

Thank You,
Mike

themagicwand wrote:TV adverts that use actors pretending to be the normal person in the street. They seem to believe that putting lots of "erms" and "yeahs" into each sentence makes them sound "normal". Why don't the advertisers just use "real" people in the first instance??

ermm, yeah. I see what you mean.

themagicwand wrote:TV adverts that use actors pretending to be the normal person in the street. They seem to believe that putting lots of "erms" and "yeahs" into each sentence makes them sound "normal". Why don't the advertisers just use "real" people in the first instance??

Absolutely definitely. That always stirs my bile.

That and ads that have been dubbed with all the care and precision of 1970s martial arts B movies. I can understand it to some degree when they're recycling European ads, but not when they're trying to pretend that known actors - such as Andie MacDowell - really have English accents.

And on the subject of cosmetics ads, I hate the ones that use lines like, 'surgery can wait'. As if plastic surgery was a normal consideration for everyone over the age of twelve!

And when it comes to recycling European ads, why can't they give us the funny ones that Chris Tarrant keeps showing?! Instead of bawdy wit and crass comedy, we get lowbrow drama about a teen and his smelly shoes.

Not that home-grown ads are much better. Howard from the Halifax can f*** off and die. Oh, and while we're on about bank ads and stuff, why do they have to put all these debt management ads on kids' TV channels or during Children's TV time? My little boy came up to me the other day and asked, 'Daddy... Are you a home owner?'.

It's enough to make me turn off the telly altogether. But the radio's no better. They condense their ads down to inane little jingles that get stuck in your cranium for ever more. And the only thing that can dislodge them is some vauous piece of poo record from the 80s that the DJ thinks is cool because it was released before he was born, but you hated it back then and it's only got worse with age.

Radio is the thorn in my side when I'm driving. The moment a song comes on that I hate, I stay calm and change the channel. Only to find that the my newly selected station starts playing the exact same song about 30 seconds later. And the next, and the next. I've had bloody Nickleback following me up the frequencies all the way from Brighton to Edinburgh. B**tards!

pcwells wrote:And on the subject of cosmetics ads, I hate the ones that use likes like, 'surgery can wait'. As if plastic surgery was a normal consideration for everyone over the age of twelve!

Some NLP practitioners would kill for a presupposition like that.

But I'm not angry or bitter, you understand...

TheStoner wrote:So as everyone's moaning about stuff they don't like can I now have my say about Argos or will it just get deleted again? And if it is deleted can I please have a PM this time to explain why it's worse than many other similar posts?


Dear Argos Home Delivery Service,

I think you'll find that 4.30pm is not "between 7am and 1pm".

Thank You,
Mike

Without knowing what lead up to this, it's hard to understand the point but shouldn't this be sent to Argos?

People riding horses who think this qualifies them as traffic officers. "Go round, go round", waving their arms in the most patronising of ways. P*ss off. I'll go round when I feel like going round - my mode of transport is 3 times as wide as yours and it's a narrow country lane. I'm not going to risk being taken out by a rural rude boy in a souped up mitsubishi just because the sound of my engine irks your diddums of a pony.

I think they should be made to fit their horses with cr@p-catcher bags too. They're not the only ones who enjoy the country side - motorcyclists do too, and if you've ever come across a pile of horsesh*t on a corner you probably know what I'm talking about. The technology is there, they just don't want to have to hose down a bag filled with poo, and see their jaunts on the public highway as bonus time in which they don't have to clear up after their oversized pets.

But then, folk probably have a few pet hates that involve bikers too

TV ads for loans should be banned. Well, these days with the credit crunch and all they're as good as banned, but still...

Remember the one with that rubbish comic guy who never really made it and his pretend wife? The guy was on the phone organising a mortgage while his wife busied around him. The advert ended with the guy telling the mortgage "advisor" on the other end of the line that he was off to watch the match, then his wife threw a ball and the guy headed it? The couple's loan (the impression given) was organised, approved, and dumped into their bank account in around 2 minutes.

And people wonder why the credit crunch happened. Well done banks.

My pet hate involves just advertising...

I don't know about the UK but if you can put an ad on it in the US someone is selling the space. Heck we have people who sell ad space ON THEIR HEADS.

In the bins for the airport? Ads placed inside.

The fold down tray on the airplane? Herpes medication ad.

We have trucks dedicated to do nothing but drive ad's in traffic. IN TRAFFIC they are chasing me to show me ads.

Bless my Tivo for it is good.