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As some of you good people may have seen from another thread i unfortunately lost my lower right leg back in 1999 after an industrial accident at work in 1991, after 14 operations there was no alternative i decided to have the amputation. I am coping fine with the decision i made and cope happily wearing a false leg, in fact I've had some good laughs out of it.
Now i know from experience that most people will feel uncomfortable reading this, and it's taken me a long time to pluck up the courage to write this message, but here goes. The problem i have is a lack of confidence. Before i had the accident and ultimately the amputation i was quite a confident person, and although i wasn't into magic then i know if i had of been i would of had no problem going out and performing a trick or 2 to complete strangers. So really all i want to know is can any one give any idea's, thoughts on how to get over this lack of confidence? perhaps some of you were lacking in confidence once? Some of you will probably be thinking "were not doctors here" but I've been the doctors about this, and to put it bluntly they told me just to get on with it.

I think the doctors are correct. Get on with it. Take the worst case scenario. You do the effect and it doesn't work. Good God the world didn't end! Really confidence comes from experience so just get out there and have fun don't take it all so seriously.

About 9 years ago I started having major problems just standing let alone walking... long story short, I ended up spending a good 70% of my time in a wheelchair, which has entailed a huge amount of adjusting. I had no idea how much I used my size and body when it came to communicating with with others and more or less dominating them (kindly) when on stage. I'd seen Blackstone do this but never realized I'd adopted a similar approach.

I've probably written a dozen or more shows that can be performed out of the chair and yet, I can't find the courage to get out there and actually do them; especially on any sort of steady schedule. I've tried drafting out shows so that I could take a sit-down break every other routine but that just don't come off well commercially. The end result being the creation (reprise actually) of programs that are deliberately intimate, involving anywhere from two to 60 total guests, usually over an evening meal. It is very traditional Victorian era Parlor Performance and a scenario in which the chair accents my persona; so much so that we are now reinventing both, the chair and myself so as to take on a more "SteamPunk" feel coupled with a Robert Ripley/Alister Crowley personage... the ultimate in snake oil peddler.

My point being, YOU need to find where your sweet spot may be and too, recognize the fact that it is YOU being self-conscience that's the stumbling block (or so I found). What proved this truth out for me was watching comic Josh Blue use his CP condition to his advantage when working (and I can think of many ways to exploit that leg thing)

I live with over a half-dozen "chronic" health conditions a few of which have plagued me for most of my life and a few others came as the result of once being young, dumb and willing to jump out of perfectly good aircraft (amongst other things)... in short, I've beaten myself up pretty good over the years and every time I have to pick my self back up out of the dust, mud, blood and tears I am reminded that I am my only handicap and when I learn to get out of my own way good things can happen.

I don't know if what I've shared helps, but at least you know you're not alone in this boat.

bmat, you are right i think i was taking it to seriously. It's not the end of the world if it go's wrong. .
Craig, Thanks for those words they do help, and i appreciate it.

I have a couple of friends who have lost limbs in afghanistan,
its amazing to see how they no longer take life to seriously, one has even been back there with a prosthetic limb.
I wish there was something else i could say.

Confidence building (tm) as it is known is a fairly well understood concept.

There are in fact two ways to do this.

1) Desensitization, this is the process your doctors are recommending. Go out and do if you fail you will see how its not a big deal and keep moving on! This process works well for emotional people who are worried about the emotional impact of failure.

2) Small Gains, here you pick things that are likely to succeed and keep incrementing your successes so you have a positive experience throughout the process. Primarily this is used for people that have really low self esteem or highly analytical people that can't get over their fear its too hard.

3) A combination therein, where you start off small but with a set goal to do something bigger on a time line. This prevents you from stagnating and stopping with your first few wins.

It will come down to you, your personality, and your motivation. You need to find the motivation before you can attempt to get out there.

For example my motivation is the wonder I see the effect that I've actually given someone something they can't explain. I love it so I keep reminding myself that is what I am going for.

I hope that helps.

liverpool 7 wrote:bmat, you are right i think i was taking it to seriously. It's not the end of the world if it go's wrong. .
Craig, Thanks for those words they do help, and i appreciate it.

Why you have had it tough.

Ok well ugh I had terrible cofidence and I went to a talent show and I messed up BIG TIME, did not revela anything but I stuttered and panicked then Some how by pulling off an ok torn and restored and some simple rope magic I managed to make the next round then as if by magic (no pun intended) I got more confident.

I realised if I wanted to go far I had to be confident and then using hte technique of not belieiving in confidence leading to if it does not exist neither does unconfidence so what is there to be worried about.

I hope that makes sense for more on confidence check Derren browns trick of the mind if you so wish.

As has been said above it really is a case of getting out there and doing it. Which is a lot easier said than done I know, if you know your material well enough stick to the simple stuff. I'm determined to crack out the sven deck one of these days just to see how it plays now I'm confident enough that specs never ask to see my props anymore

It might be worth popping over to Leeds or Manchester for one of the meet ups. You can show your tricks to other magicians first (not always a good idea some will argue) or you can go off to the punters and give it a shot safe in the knowledge that some one will bail you out if required. It worked for me, I used to shake like a leaf but over time that went away as you know that what ever happens it's really not that bad.

Well, there are the approaches mentioned so far in this thread, which will all work. But if you can’t do it on your own, you could find a psychologist and get cognitive behavioural therapy from a trained professional, which has been shown to be very effective at solving these kinds of problems.

Why don't you get two or three tricks/effects and practice them until you can do them in the dark.

At risk of being ridiculed, I recommend the famous Color Monte. That was the first trick I bought when I started practicing magic 25 years ago and it still kills. I can do it drunk, I can do it forward and backward (not much call to do it backward ), I can do it in my sleep. It's second nature to me.

I know that I'm more confident when I know as much about something as possible - magic or anything else; maybe this will help with your confudence, too.

I wish you all the best and hope to see you on youtube soon!

Thanks all of you who replied, ive taken on board all you have said and will keep reading your posts over and over because they are words of encouragement to me and i know i'll crack this problem.
Last night i did Cameron Francis's Halfusion 2 to my girlfriend and her reaction afterwards made me feel great.

One thing, ironically, that can also work is to take a page out of Tommy Coopers book and do an act where you intentionally mess everything up as impressively as you can. Become really good at messing up your routine. Do it with flair, lack of grace, and a definate lack of dignity.

Mess it all up.

It's hard to make a mistake when your entire act is focused on making as big a fool of yourself as possible, and sooner or latter the fact that every mistake you make will make your act better will give you confidence.

Also, you will find a lot of people will love it at the comedy club.

I understand Wayne Dobson has managed to cope and perform on stage despite being struck down by a serious illness. It can be done.

For close up magic some kind of disability can actually be an advantage! This stems from my theory of defensive resentment which I have explained in the past. People consciously or subconsiously resent a magician to some degree. This resentment springs from defensiveness and it may not even manifest itself openly with some people of a friendly nature. However it is still there and anything you do to remove this "defensive resentment" can only be beneficial.

Having a dicky leg and letting the audience know it somehow can be a good thing to do if you are subtle about it.It fights this tendency towards defensiveness and gets people on your side. Of course a not so subtle method is to use the following patter " I have a wooden leg. It wouldn't be wooden if it wouldn't be wooden, would it"

Of course I have no idea of false legs are wooden or metal any more. It is still a good gag for any wooden prop. You could use it for a magic wand. I use it for a wooden egg.

gypsyfish wrote:Why don't you get two or three tricks/effects and practice them until you can do them in the dark.

At risk of being ridiculed, I recommend the famous Color Monte. That was the first trick I bought when I started practicing magic 25 years ago and it still kills. I can do it drunk, I can do it forward and backward (not much call to do it backward ), I can do it in my sleep. It's second nature to me.

I know that I'm more confident when I know as much about something as possible - magic or anything else; maybe this will help with your confudence, too.

I wish you all the best and hope to see you on youtube soon!

First, color monte is one of my all time favourite effects to perform it has always served me well, let other magicians ridicule you because it will tell you two things about those magicians. 1) They have never done the effect in front of a live audience so they don't understand the impact 2) They have done it but have done a crappy job of it. .

I agree about knowing an effect inside out and backwards regardless of your state of nerves/confidence. However that is not the problem, you can do it wonderfully in the dark anytime. The fact is for most people the magic is not that difficult, it is performing especially in front of people that creates the issue, and really the only way past it is to get out there and give it a try. By all means start small and build up but don't take it so seriously as I stated earlier its really not the end of the world. You've lost part of your body thats a lot bigger deal (I myself have had most of my bowl removed) yet still I don't take it all so seriously, yes its serious but put it all in perspective. If you can look yourself in the mirror and honestly know you are basically happy in life you are on the right track.

tomterm8 wrote:Well, there are the approaches mentioned so far in this thread, which will all work. But if you can’t do it on your own, you could find a psychologist and get cognitive behavioural therapy from a trained professional, which has been shown to be very effective at solving these kinds of problems.

You have a point here and I will admit that I've had to use such resources along side Hypnotherapy and my own routine of Meditation/Affirmation and even self-hypnotic programming. Yet, there still comes that point in time where you have to jump into the pool and actually start swimming. Until you discover the elixir of applause and pats on the back for a job well done, you can't overcome stage fright, it's that simple.

As to therapy there are those testosterone based courses as well like Martial Arts, which is every much a confidence builder. BUT, it will not make you an effective showman, just a human being that can walk a bit taller in life because they've learned how to be more than they think (thought) they are (were).

I'm a bit supporter of using outside resources even when you aren't having confidence issues. You will see in many of my posts the echo of things shared with me in long gone years by Mark Wilson, Blackstone (Jr) and others when it comes to the idea of being a showman... not just a magician. In every case I was told to build my vocabulary, get formal training in how to use my words and be an effective speaker as well as courses in dance/modeling for the sake of creating grace in how I moved on stage (and off, it would seem). Each of these things, building blocks that help us garner the confidence as well as presence required in an industry that is almost entirely built on "nerve" and the audacity to go out in front of total strangers and make a complete A*S*S of yourself... sometimes intentionally

Being able to meet that challenge let alone all the other stumbling blocks found in this industry (show biz as a greater whole) is one of the biggest reasons so few actually "make it" -- human beings do not like being taken out of their comfort zone, it's a very tough thing to do. But when you compound that challenge with a "handicap" and being self-conscience about appearance, etc... believe me, its a real (insert a 5 letter work referring to a female dog here; begins with B and ends with ITCH)

No, when physical appearance and limitations come into the scenario the solutions aren't quite that simple... even when you strive to adjust things so as to accommodate the "oddity".