hmm - some interesting answers
The reason I want to do a resturant gig is mainly for experience in doing resturants - I'm totally new at that so i don't feel I'm ready to ask the resturant to pay me. However I do know a couple of resturaunts that are open to me performing for tips. Over here it seems the way to start - you work for tips, then you 'graduate' to having a paid gig.
No I don't see it as begging. As jugglemonkey said - begging is essentially asking for money in return for nothing.
I guess it could be seen as busking - especially if it's not a regular resturant gig. Buskers can be annoying, but if it is done in a gracious way, and one is sensitive to the people at the table and the performance is really good, I don't see that it has to be annoying.
I think the thing is - I really don't want people to feel like I'm at the table begging for money - I want to be proffesional and entertain them if that's what they want (ie I'm not going to force my act on anyone). But - I do want to get something out of it financially - but obviously not at all costs.
A friend of mine gave an example of a street performer (ok I know that's different from resturaunts) who at the end of his act says something like "I do this for a living. At the end of the month I can't go to my landlord and just say 'well done - great flat'".
Some of your suggestions are helpful - as usual
Thanks