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Police are looking into some inflatable swimming pool thefts, I've got to Lilo

I thought it was funny

several thefts from wig factories have prompted police to "comb" the area".

A giant and a dwarf have been robbing post offices in the London area.

Police are searching high and low...

Someone keeps coming down to my allotment during the night and adding soil to my vegetable beds.

The plot thickens...

The local Police in our area have just had all of their toilets stolen.

They report that they have nothing to go on...

A psychic midget escaped from prison this week.
The wanted poster reads "Small medium at large."

BigShot wrote:A psychic midget escaped from prison this week.
The wanted poster reads "Small medium at large."

Ooo, just beaten to it!

I was driving along the other day when my boss phoned me to say I'd been promoted to a senior position. I swerved left as I heard the news.

A short while later he called back to say I'd been given a place on the board. I swerved to the right as I struggled to contain my delight.

Finally the chairman called and said I'd been made chief exec! With that news I lost control of the car and went into a tree.

I had careered off the road!

There are 10 kinds of people in the world
Those that understand binary and those that don't

Reports coming in that a midget has been pick pocketed, how could anyone stoop so low?

There are also reports of a midget attempting a robbery at a butchers,it was called off though. The steaks were too high

What does a Mexican call the stuff you put down before the carpet?
Underlay Underlay

Sorry Lawrence. (Something about snoozing and losing. I dunno.)

Loving these crime-related jokes.


What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie The Pooh have in common?
They both have the same middle name.

(Groan.)

Why does the Thames/Irwell/Mersey/Clyde run through London/Salford (or Manchester)/Liverpool/Glasgow?
Because if it walked it would get mugged

Just purchased some Emo Bread.

It cuts itself.