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Here's me performing Vernon's Triumph. Please tell me how to improve it because I can tell it needs more work on it.

Youtube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiGYdYGnN7A

putfile link:
http://media.putfile.com/Triumph-by-Dai-Vernon

Thanks for posting that Scr. Again its nice to see someone who is into Vernons work!

If you don't mind some constructive criticism; You really need to tighten up your presentation. Alot of actions and movement performed for no apparent reason, although its difficult to tell without any patter. You could be telling a huge story over the top of the actions that make sense, but I'm doubtful.

If you have access to Alex Elmsleys Collected Works volume 1, take a look at his Automatic Producer. I think it would really help.

Thanks for the comment. I'm having problems with unnecessary movement but it goes with the patter nicely because I'm using the original story about this guy who took the deck from me and shuffled it in a very weird way:). But still... my presentation is... wack.

Scriptorilsky wrote:Thanks for the comment. I'm having problems with unnecessary movement but it goes with the patter nicely because I'm using the original story about this guy who took the deck from me and shuffled it in a very weird way:). But still... my presentation is... wack.

Ahh, in that case my comments maybe entirely incorrect. Its difficult to judge without the patter over the top. Hint hint...

I'm with Cardza, there's a lot of unecessary moves in there, although I can follow the patter without hearing it as I know you got it off ETMCM 1. Still some superfluous bits though, I'll give you some tips when I pm you the twisting the aces stuff (might be a day or two on that cos I'm a bit busy at the mo but I'll definitely be in touch).

bronz wrote:I'm with Cardza, there's a lot of unecessary moves in there, although I can follow the patter without hearing it as I know you got it off ETMCM 1. Still some superfluous bits though, I'll give you some tips when I pm you the twisting the aces stuff (might be a day or two on that cos I'm a bit busy at the mo but I'll definitely be in touch).

did you have some form of premonition as to what cardza thinks?

Er, yes, yes I did! I've been practicing you see. Or maybe I just had Cardza on the brain, don't your avatars look similar? Stupid of me.

Hi

I'm really not meaning to be rude, but personally I didn't like it. This is because i found that a lot of you movements had little reason, and in the main were sloppy. This sloppiness was particularly apparent in the cut because you did it far too quickly and was totally out of synchronization which the rhythm of the trick. Also because you cut it at the exposed end of the pack, the key part of the cut was exposed (you will know what I’m talking about).

So overall I didn't think that was your best performance by a long shot.

Sorry - but I think when it comes to magic its better to be honest because that is the way in which we all improve.

Thanks for the YouTube link. I thought that was good. But like everyone else, just the little movements.

Citrus wrote:Hi

I'm really not meaning to be rude, but personally I didn't like it. This is because i found that a lot of you movements had little reason, and in the main were sloppy. This sloppiness was particularly apparent in the cut because you did it far too quickly and was totally out of synchronization which the rhythm of the trick. Also because you cut it at the exposed end of the pack, the key part of the cut was exposed (you will know what I’m talking about).

So overall I didn't think that was your best performance by a long shot.

Sorry - but I think when it comes to magic its better to be honest because that is the way in which we all improve.

I agree, you're not rude at all. I'm aware of my sloppiness in the vid and I must say that Triumph is a hard one for me. Although I don't have trouble with card handling in general, the "special move" is something I can't figure out how to perform smoothly. And one other thing... about the exposure, if you look at Ammar's video carefully (EMCM 1) you'll notice that his "special move" is totally transparent and exposed, the only thing is that it's misdirected by the zoom out of the camera and the natural movement he makes.

Thanks for the criticism.

"the move" draws some attention, but I don't think you're giving it away. I would say this is a very decent performance, with room for improvement.

I know I said I wouldn't comment because I thought it was unfair without patter, but since everyone else is having a go..... heres my tuppence worth.

Personally I prefer the zarrow to the triumph shuffle but each to his own. I agree you spent too much time selling it, but again I think patter makes a big difference here.

Having watched it again, I really didn't like the card control, although card control is matter of taste and style, a simple double undercut would have done it, saying that I don't do this . Nice fanning by the way, but just seemed a little out of place (over selling again?). Again, this could be due to lack of patter. As for the, how shall I put it, recovery, Vernon has a great subtlety on this and is worth looking at.

I guess I'm saying I didnt like moves you were using, which is a little cheeky, really. I'd still like to see the pattered version!