talkmagic.co.uk

I recently worked in a bar. I got to the point in my table-hopping routine where I introduce a bit of fortune telling. On the table next to where I was working were 2 drunken women in their 50's. Both had badly bleached hair and were dressed inappropriately for ladies of their age.

When they heard me fortune telling, they began to call me over (rather rudely). I finished my routine and had no choice but to approach the two drunken ladies. "Tell us our fortune, will ya!" they squaked like banshees, waving cigarettes and beer under my nose.

Normally I love to embark on a serious bit of tarot or paolm reading, but these two ladies were so obnoxious and vile that I couldn't stand the thought. So for the first time ever, I made an excuse. I told them that my fortune telling was all hokum, that I just made it up off the top of my head, and that I had no idea what the future would bring them.

They both stopped drinking their beer for a second, gazed at me through dull eyes, blinked, and then one said, "No, but you've got to tell me what's going to happen in me future. I really need to know."

I tried to explain again. They wouldn't listen. So I told them they were both very strong characters, the future looked very positive, and they would both be very happy. That appeared to please them. Their young children then appeared and I said my good-byes.

Honestly. Some people are just begging to be taken advantage of, aren't they? Good job I've got morals or I could've been charging them the earth for readings!

you should have told them both they would die horrible deaths and then tell them to drive safely

The possibilities are endless.....

I'd have told them that they are going to win the lottery but not when

I was performing last week and did an effect with an ID. When revealing the chosen card the girl said "I changed my mind three times" to which i relied "I know". This seems to cause more confusion than the trick.