I just received the following in an email from my missus whilst she was at work earlier today.
How To Shower Like a Woman:
* Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according
to lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
* If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* Get in the shower.
* Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
* Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
* Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
* Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
* Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body wash.
* Rinse conditioner off hair.
* Shave armpits and legs.
* Turn off shower.
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
* Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
* Get out of shower.
* Dry with towel the size of a small country.
* Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
* Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
* If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man:
* Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
in a pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom.
* If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
* Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
* Get in the shower.
* Wash your face.
* Wash your armpits.
* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area
* Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
* Wash your hair.
* Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
* Wee.
* Rinse off and get out of shower.
* Partially dry off.
* Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.
* Admire willy size in mirror again.
* Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
* Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
* If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.
* Throw wet towel on bed.
YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE !!!
I nearly wet myself laughing - particularly when I read the bit about shaking your willy at your missus 'cos I've gotta admit, that I do that
, farting, and course bum hairs on the soap ( ugh!! )
