talkmagic.co.uk

I have been and I have seen. I have also decided not to drive myself crazy over it unless I hear from Mr Hopkinson again. If I do and it is another request for Marmaduke to appear through the computer I shall have to consult Mr Eason over the matter. Either that or a doctor to discuss my impending nervous breakdown.

The person who handles these computer shenanigans for me has also sent Mr Hopkinson a message explaining that Marmaduke and his book don't like popping out through computers and are winging their way to Accrington. She has so far received no reply.

I promised the mouse patter. Here it is. I have absolutely no idea why I am posting it though. Occupational therapy perhaps.

"this is Marmaduke the Wonder Mouse. He's got a magic motor. He won't work without his motor. We pop the magic motor in and away he goes. Strange little creature. Just like my mother in law. Strange little creature. Give him a wave and say 'hello marmaduke". (Punter waves and mouse runs away from him) Oh. He doesn't like you does he"

Now don't do what a lady did last week. She put the motor on the wrong end and the poor thing went backwards! No. Don't do that. Put it on the front of the mouse and away he goes. 100 miles an hour down the motorway! Right turn! Left turn! Oh. He's stuck! (make cranking sound) Sometimes you've got to crank him up. There he goes again!

Now the next time you are in a restaurant leave a coin for the waitress. You'll scare the poor woman to death when you do this!

My favourite is with a pencil. Make sure it is a wooden pencil. After all it wouldn't be wooden if it wouldn't be wooden, would it? Pop the magic motor on and away it goes. It travels along the hand, it goes from one side of the hand to the other, pop it in a bottle and say rise, pencil, rise and up it comes!

Of course the best way is that little mouse. Away he goes again! If you ask nicely he will roll over. Say "roll over little mouse" and he does. Very Nicely.

This is where he lives. In this glass. Say "come on out little mouse" and he does.

It comes with the great mousekeeping seal of approval and Marmaduke has been written up in Rodent Magazine.
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There. That is enough for now. I have been therapized.