Lateral Thinking

A meeting area where members can relax, chill out and talk about anything non magical.


Moderators: nickj, Lady of Mystery, Mandrake, bananafish, support

Lateral Thinking

Postby The Magic Attic » Apr 19th, '07, 21:13



Just Check This Out ! ! !!


Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.


Think like a wizard . . .





Man
1. ------------
Board








Ans. = man overboard



Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.




Stand
2. ------------
i







Ans. = I understand





OK .. . .

Got the drift ?



Let's try a few now and see

How you fare ?




3. /r/e/a/d/I/n/g/










Ans. = reading between the lines







4. R
Road
a
d









Ans. = cross road




Not having a good day now, are you ?


Redeem yourself.









5. Cycle
Cycle
Cycle










Ans. = tricycle




Not easy to figure out ha!













0
6. ------------
M.D.
Ph.D.











Ans. = two degrees below zero








C'mon give it a little thought ! !









Knee
7. ------------
Light











Ans. = neon light

( knee - on - light )





U can prove u r smart by getting this one.





Ground
8. ---------------
Feet feet feet feet feet feet












Ans. = six feet underground








Oh no, not again ! !













9. he's X himself










Ans. = he's by himself








Now u messing up big time.









10 Ecnalg










Ans. = backward glance




Not even close ! !









11 Death ..... Life











Ans. = life after death




Okay last chance ..................



12. THINK











Ans. = think big ! !









And the last one is real fundoo - - -





13. Ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb...










Ans. = long time no 'C'

( see )

The Magic Attic
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 260
Joined: Nov 23rd, '06, 15:08
Location: Portsmouth (32:CP)

Postby Surfing Dude » Apr 22nd, '07, 22:16

only got the man overboard one, tricycle one reading between the lines one right.....the worst bit is ive seen this before test before...yep I'm appalling!

Surfing Dude
 

Postby dat8962 » Apr 22nd, '07, 22:41

Try this one, a new GCSE maths test for schools

:lol: For the unaware, there is a slight difference between private schools and comprehensives in Britain.
The Department of Education has realised this and has revised the secondary Maths Exam papers
accordingly.
Attached are the most recent maths exam papers for your reference.
MATHS TEST FOR COMPREHENSIVES
Name _____________________________
Nickname__________________________
Gang Name________________________
1. Simon has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Matt for 300 quid and 90 grams to Ollie
for 90 quid, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
2. Damon pimps 3 bitches. If the price is GBP40 a ride, how many jobs per day must each bitch
perform to support Damon's GBP500 a day coke habit?
3. Crackster wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for 7,000 quid to make a 20% profit. How
many grams of Strychnine will he need?
4. Trev got 6 years for murder. He also got GBP350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife
spends GBP33,100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Trev get for killing the slapper that spent his
money?
5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square metres and the average letter is 1 square metre,
how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint
free ?
6. Liam steals Jordan's skateboard. As Liam skates away at a speed of 35mph, Jordan loads his
brother's Armalite. If it takes Jordan 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Liam have travelled
when he gets whacked?
MATHS TEST FOR PRIVATE SCHOOLS
Name___________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________
(If longer please continue on a separate sheet)
School _______________________________________________
Daddy's/Mummy's Company ____________________________
1. Harry smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and killing 3 people. The old
man asks his local Chief Constable to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim
and receives a payment of y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance
settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Harry driving now?
2. Fiona's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer
goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to
Fiji and Fiona doesn't even notice the difference. Is she thick or what?
3. Tristram fancies the *rse off a certain number of debutants, but he only has enough Rohypnol left
to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 tablets of Rohypnol, how is he ever going to shag the
other two thirds?
4. If Verity throws up 4 times a day for a week she can fit into a size 8 Versace. If she only throws
up 3 times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 Dolce & Gabbana. How much
does liposuction cost?
5. Henry is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies women. On the other days he
fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However he only has access to the Hoover every third
week. When will he stand for parliament?

Member of the Magic Circle & The 2009 British Isles Close-Up Magician of the Year
It's not really an optical illusion - it just looks like one!
User avatar
dat8962
Veteran Member
 
Posts: 9265
Joined: Jan 29th, '04, 19:19
Location: Leamington Spa (50:Semi-Pro)


Return to The Dove's Head

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests

cron