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A magician walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a glass of
beer, and a thimble-full of beer for my friend."

"What friend?" asks the bartender.

The magician reaches into his shirt pocket and lifts out a 4-inch
man. He sets him on the bar.

The bartender is astonished. "That's amazing!" he says.

"Not half as amazing as his tricks!" says the magician. "Max, show
the man what you can do."

The little guy takes out a piece of string and proceeds to break it
into many pieces. Then he gathers up the pieces and places them into
the bartender's hand. The string is now restored."

"Amazing!" says the bartender, "What else can he do? Does he talk?"

"Of course he can!" says the magician, "Max, tell him about that time
we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"

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Before I married my wife I had to meet her parents. Her father was a magician who owned a successful downtown magic and joke shop.

I went over to their house and met her mom and dad. They were okay. They thought I was okay. After a few hours, I left. In the following few weeks I went over to my fiancé's house several times. I got along well with her dad, in spite of the fact he talked a lot about magic and bored me with dozens of lame card tricks.

After a while, her dad said to me, "You know, I've decided I like you enough, that I'm going to make you a partner in my shop. You can have half interest. Come on over to the store tomorrow and I'll show you how to work there. You can start by stocking merchandise.

"What?!" I said, "No way! I'd hate a job in inventory. "

He thought for a moment, and then replied, "Well then, come in and I'll make you a magic demonstrator. We get a lot of customers in every day."

"No way!" I told him, "I couldn't stand to work at a counter, on my feet all day, wasting my time with curiosity seekers and magic dweebs."

The father, getting exasperated, replied, "Then what the hell am I gonna do with you?"

"Oh that's easy," I said, "Buy me out!"

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A pimple-faced young magic fanatic was walking from the convention
dealer room to the close up room, playing cards in perpetual motion,
when his friend said, "Where did you get that great bike you were
riding this morning?"

The magician replied, well, I was was walking along practising my
faro shuffle when my concentration was suddenly interrupted by a
beautiful woman riding up to me on a bicycle. She stopped, threw her
bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, and stood there with
her arms outstretched shouting, "Take whatever you want, Magic Boy!!"

His buddy stopped his double coin roll and looked over at his friend
in delighted surprise. Smiling, he said, "Good choice, Tom! Her
clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

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could you not have put all these in one topic?
Why keep making more posts like this?

lol thanks theres some good ones in there